I’m Exhausted.

Wow how long has it been since I have done a regular post?  A week?  A month?  Longer?  All I know is that it has been for-ever.  I have been going non stop for almost a month now and this morning as I was sitting outside with B I realized I am getting exhausted.  Sad thing, there’s no end in sight.  Here is a little bit of this and a little bit of that:

-I am getting tired.

-I totally revamped my landscaping front and back.  It wore me out and made me sore.  I hate loathe landscaping.  It does look nice though so one big pat on the back for me!

-After 7 years of living in this house I finally don’t have fruit on my walls in my kitchen.  NO MORE FRUIT!  YAY!  I have been intimidated by painting my kitchen for 7 years.  I hate painting and I don’t trust my skillz in that area.  A couple of times I would pull a little piece of wallpaper off and tape it right back up because I wasn’t ready to take on the task. Well I told B the week before last that the following Monday would be the day to rid the kitchen of fruit.  Last Monday he went in and ripped a big ole piece of wallpaper off.  I almost cried.  I took a deep breathe and told myself…YOU can do this!  Well my friends I did!  It took me a whole week to get it done and now the fruit is gone and my walls are blue and white and it looks magnificent if I do say so myself!

-Due to the colors on my kitchen walls, I had to paint my chair rails and floor molding (whatever that is called) white.  This opens a whole freaking can of worms for the rest of the house.  I can’t just have white chair rails, floor molding, doors and door jams in the kitchen, No the rest of the house has to match.  So what will I be doing until I am 54 years old?  Painting.  Painting the floor molding in every room, painting the crown molding in the living room and dining room, painting doors and door jams in every room.  Good lord. Everything needs a fresh coat of paint in this house so it must be done!  I am on a mission.

-Now that I have the kitchen done, my next mission is the hall bathroom, my bathroom and my bedroom.  All need new paint.  Am I getting paid?  No.  Fuck that.  Someone should be paying me!

-Today I have another list of a 398 things to do.  I’m learning its going to be like this everyday for the rest of my life.  Fuck that too.  I just want to sit.  Today we are celebrating W’s birthday, which is actually Thursday but we are flying to South Carolina on Thursday for a family wedding so today is the day.  Dad and Susie are coming for dinner and my house is a mess.  So on top of getting the last few doors painting in the kitchen hall to the garage I need to go to the store, clean my house, finish multiple loads of laundry, scrape paint off the kitchen floor, and feed them.  Shit.

-I’m tired.

-I want to meet the person who is responsible for lighting this fire under my ass and poke them in the eyeball.  I’m tired.

-I thought my pile of trim tape was going to come alive and eat me the other day.

-We have had a Led Zeppelin painting in our kitchen for years now and after I got done painting the kitchen I thought just maybe that it would find a new home in another room.  Friday I woke up..walked into the kitchen..looked at my pretty new walls….and saw this…

B thinks I can’t cook without the boys of Zeppelin.

-My sister and I need to schedule time to go to Indiana sometime soon and see my grandma and cousins.  When am I going to fit this in?  I have no flipping clue.

-My aunt found me on FB a couple of weeks ago. Her and my mom were connected at the hip, my sister and I remind me a lot of them two.  She now lives in Florida and has zero relationship with her 2 kids who have kids of their own now.  This pisses me off to no end, especially now that I can read how she communicates with them.  It makes me want to call her out on all of her bullshit and scream “Did you not learn anything when mom passed away?” You have 2 great kids and 4 wonderful grandkids and you are choosing to not be a part of their lives.  Something could happen tomorrow and you will be left not really knowing them with no attempt made on your part to do so.  She has turned into a shitty human and it pisses me off.  She communicates with them like they are fair weather friends.  W.T.F.

-Thursday, like I said earlier, we fly to South Carolina.  B’s cousin is getting married at the Charleston Harbor Resort.  This is the first time the kids have flown and they are beside themselves with excitement.  Me on the other hand..I’m already stressed out about it.  I have never flown with kids, they have never flown.  Also adding to the stress of the trip, I have no flipping clue what to wear.  I don’t know if the wedding is right on the beach, is it inside the resort?  Heels?  Flip Flops?  I need to know this kind of stuff people!!  I don’t know what to pack for the kids, B has no clue what to pack for himself.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

-W’s been sick since last week, I think he is on the mend now, E is sneezing, and B feels like poopy.  Bad timing for this crap all around.  I swear if come Thursday I feel like crap and get this funk they have had I might slit my wrists.

I know that was all over the place but that is just a peek at the inside of my brain at the moment.  It’s all over the place and running at about 125mph.  Good times.  One day I will rest…One day. Until then..here I go.

Peace.

My Photo Shoot – Lucid Linds Studio, Nashville TN

My sister is in the process of opening her own amazing video/photography studio within her loft downtown, Lucid Linds Studio.  She has had a couple of paying shoots already by friends and is in the process of finalizing everything and waiting on her website to be done.  Meanwhile she is finishing up the inside and placing ads to get the attention of local photographers.  Friday we planned to do a photo shoot of both of us to show all the different options for the studio to add to her porfolio.  Well it ended up being a shoot of just me.  Now I am not a model, never claimed to be, don’t think I am even close to one but I will say I am pretty proud of how the shots turned out.  I was totally uncomfortable in front of the camera for the first half but then we turned up the music and just had fun with it.  Here are some shots from the shoot.  All photos are taken by my sister and edited by me.  If you are a photographer in the Nashville area looking for a great place to shoot that offers many inside and outside shooting options, leave a comment and I will get you the information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freaky Deaky

It’s been an eventful but yet uneventful kinda holiday weekend.  Does that make sense?  Not sure and don’t care, it’s my blog, I don’t have to make sense.  heehee.

Friday I spent the day with my sister and we realized at dinner that even though we are 4 years and 1 day apart somehow someway we are twins that share the same brain….to the point of being freaky.  Here are a couple of examples:

-Even though between the 2 of us we own 593 pairs of shoes and out of the 593 pairs of shoes we both own 2 pairs of the same shoes, Friday she walks in and we have the same shoes on.  I can’t tell you how many times this happens and not only with shoes, it happens with clothes as well.

-Friday night at dinner we finished each other sentences and after a silent pause we both opened our mouths at the exact same time and the exact same words came out in the exact same order in the exact same tone…Twice.  It happened again yesterday.  Fah-ree-ky.

Also Friday at dinner my sister asked E if she could draw a tattoo on her and in return E could draw a tattoo on her.  My sister drew a cute little heart on E..Ahh so cute.  E in return drew a….

a puppy dog...or something

 It’s so windy outside right now that I keep watching for the witch on her bike to fly by my window.  Some random info for ya.

We watched Disney’s “Oceans” last night.  This has been out for quite awhile and I’m always late to the movie party.  This movie/documentary is hands down the BEST nature doc I have ever seen.  I was in awwe the entire time and the only words B and I spoke throughout the entire movie was “wow” and “that is crazy”.  If you have not seen this, you need to..right now..go now..now damnit.

Last week I bought some music for my ipod, Adele and Pistol Annies.  Pistol Annies is a country girl trio put together by Miranda Lambert.  I had heard a song by them awhile ago on a friend’s blog, loved it and then it left my mind.  Well I came across them again on itunes and fell in love again.  If you could tell the wear of a song on an ipod this album would be plum worn out and I’ve only had it since Thursday.  I can’t get enough of it, every song is fantastic.  Here is my fav.

and another…

Happy Tuesday..

Peace.

Friday’s Survival Sarcasm – Farewell to the Firecracker

Wednesday was a very very sad day..it was the day we bid farewell to one of my favorite blogs.  Miss Firecracker has put her blog on hold for the time being.  This makes me sad because it was one of my favorites, it was the first blog I read every morning and gave me my morning boost to face the world each day.  It made me laugh, it made me smile, it made me cock my head to the side and think “WTF!”  Her blog was one of the first I came across when I first came to the blogging world and I loved it from the beginning.  She is my…”Cosmic Twin”.  Thankfully through our blogs we have become friends on the outside of the blog-o-verse, a friendship was made that I hold dear.  I spent Wednesday in mourning, locked in my bedroom dressed in black with a bottle of Vodka.  To the Firecraker blog..I tip my forty.  Okay Okay enough of all the mushy mushy, let’s send her off in the right way!  Thank you Someecards.com and bluntcard.com for always having a card saying what is on my mind.

To you Miss Firecracker..Your blog will be missed…

Firecracker and I

I will do this for you & keep them dead

This can't be more true!

So...goodbye.

So call me!

I thought this by 8:30am on Wednesday

I keep telling myself this in between bottles of Jack Daniels

Yes we share the same brain.

Your secret is safe with me.

Because I'm there for you like that.

And shaking..and hammered...and twitching...HELP!

Thnx to the porn name generator we will be known as: You: Nurse Fuegobutte Me: Barbie Stroker

I keep telling myself you will come back someday....Come back to us!

See you already have a name! ...and done.

I beg of you

Firecracker says goodbye...

 To all that never read Firecracker’s blog while she was here..I am sorry that a part of you will always feel empty.

Rock Your Friday!

Always Keep Rock’n!!

Peace

Friday’s Survival Sarcasm – Rock the Awesome

It’s that time again folks. It’s Friday and here is your weekly does of sarcasm and funny. A special thank you as always to someecards.com, happyplace.com, and bluntcard.com for making our Friday’s most awesome.  Today’s post is a mixture of cards, notes to neighbors (from happyplace.com) and signs (again from happyplace.com).  Let’s Rock Some Awesome!

This might take a moment

That's one big wiener!

heehee!

BAM!

Because I'm fabulous

I told you

Mr T+Unicorns and lightbolts=Awesome of course!

Me with most humans

I burn 0 calories mowing the lawn

I was worried on what to do if they weren't around

Whatever works

He's sneaky..watch out!

that's some shit right there

bahaha

with so many this is the case

massive suction

My day planner says the same thing!

Always!

There you have it.

I leave you with this…

Rock Your Friday

and as always…

Keep Rockin!

Peace

Balls to the Wall.

It’s been a crazy weekend and week already and it’s only Tuesday. ACK!  Here’s the rundown.

-Friday night B and I went to see Bill Burr at Zanie’s.  This was my second time seeing him and I was stoked because he was funny as hell the first time around.  Yeah, well he has lost some of his funny.  He still made me laugh, don’t get me wrong here but not like the first time around.  I found myself a few times sitting there not laughing and thinking “STOP F’n Yelling Dude!”.  There was 12 of us that went to the show and we were all at a long table packed in like sardines.  The long table next to us was full of young kids.  They had to be only 21 if not there with a fake ID.  They drove me fucking nuts the entire night.  The dudes were all plaid shorts with button down shirts with the collars popped, the girls in their little bitty dresses and stupid headbands…that right there was enough to make me want to punch them in the back of the heads but oh no they had more to make this night fan-fucking-tastic.  They are all drinking like crazy, I notice they started passing around a flask and popped collar toolbag would tell whoever he passed it to to “CHUG”.  Shut the fuck up douchehole, we are at a comedy club not a freaking bar.  The girls wouldn’t shut the fuck up through the entire show.  I hear their annoying giggling and talking all night long.  Full conversations going on through the whole thing.  I wanted to punch the blonde in the back of her little fucking head.  This said blonde gets up at one point to go to the restroom she comes back and sits down on popped collar dude’s lap.  Of fucking course they are a couple.  Her sitting on his lap put her head right in my view.  I sat there for 2 minutes steaming and then reached up and tapped popped collar dude on the shoulder and told him she needs to get the hell out of my way.  Of course she shoots me a look and I shoot one right back.  She moves to the chair right next to him and now they want to make out.  For the Love of God you fucking ninkapoops!

- as I am telling my Dad this story he reminds me that the Douchey McDouchersons that I just talked about most likely looked and talked about me as “that old woman” at the show.  That’s fine with me.

-Saturday B and I kicked ass.  Kicked Ass I say!  We cleaned out the garage and threw a whole stake body truck full of shit away.  Yes a whole freaking truck full of shit.  Stuff that we thought we needed to keep, old furniture that was from my childhood that I thought I needed to keep.  I finally came to terms with the decision to pitch it.  Yes I could have kept it and passed it down to my kids but what the hell are they going to do with it?  Most likely stick it in their garage and go through the same thinking that I went through.  If we hadn’t touched it in the last year we pitched it.  We went through cabinets and laundry room as well and what a difference it made.  Man it feels good!  Ahhh…Deep Breath…and exhale…  We started at 10am and didn’t stop until almost 8pm.  We were pooped.

-The reason for the clean out was to make room for my new stand up Freezer!  WOO HOO!  You know you’re getting old when you get excited for a freezer.  Yep, that would be me!  We have wanted one forever and after I started couponing we decided it must be done.  My freezer is so pretty, I find myself going out and just looking at it.  That right there people is just sad.

-Speaking of couponing, I have been at it for 4 weeks now and have saved almost $500 to date!  That makes this momma happy happy happy!  Yes I have a little stock pile started but nothing huge.  Just enough that I don’t have to go buy stupid expensive crap for the next 3-4 months.  I am stocked on cleaning supplies, girlie products, bathroom essentials, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop and a few other things.

A few of my store Scores:

-Boxes of cereal for $.65! (Cinnamon Toast Crunch) (Also a few other kinds for $1.25 a box)

-Betty Crocker sides for $.65 a box

-Playtex Tampons for $.99 an 18 count box!

-Resolve stain remover for clothes for $.50 a bottle

-Dial handsoap $.18 a pump

Yesterday I headed out to run my errands and had to stop by Publix.  I went in with a short list of things I needed and my coupon binder.  After scanning the aisles one by one with my coupons I found deals that I was expecting, so needless to say I bought more than what I had planned on but it was all stuff that I would need in the near future.  I walked out of there spending $95 after saving $90!  I’ll take that especially at Publix!  They have some of the best deals if you do it right!

-Yesterday was another balls to the wall day.  After running a shit ton of errands, the kids came home and we headed out to get E’s dance stuff that she needs for her first class tonight.  We had to drive 45 minutes to the closest dancewear store.  Her class is a combo class so she will be doing Ballet, Jazz and Hip Hop.  So we needed a leotard, tights and ballet shoes for ballet and boy shorts, sports bra type top and jazz shoes for jazz. Thank god for Hip Hop they can wear sweats, t-shirt and tennis shoes because for the other two it cost me an arm and a leg. My daughter now needs to go get a job at the age of 6.  She did dance 2 years ago with a different company and I didn’t like it and she just wasn’t ready so I pulled her from it.  This time around it is with a new dance company and she is so excited about it.  This dance company is amazing.  Along with regular classes they also have competition teams, one of their dance teams won Nationals last year.  How awesome is that?  Needless to say I am stoked for her to start and I hope she really likes it and wants to stick with it and maybe eventually compete if she wants.  (that might be one of my childhood dreams coming out through her but oh well, my parents would never let me be in dance when I was little and that is all I wanted to do)

 

So there is that.  Aren’t you glad I shared all that?  SO exciting, I know.  :P

Friday’s Survival Sarcasm – Street Fliers

It’s Friiiiiday!  Let’s get our funny on with the help of the folks over at Happyplace.com and their brilliantly pointless street fliers.  So let’s get this party started and fulfill our Friday’s Sarcasm Needs.  And go…

Now that's just fucking funny.

I could of used this the other day

haha!

like

Where's the honey mustard?

Take that Bike Thief!

Damn that Alf!

MEEP! is all I have to say

Dog Awesomesauce

Damn Straight

Now go on and Rock Your Friday!

Keep Rock’n!

Peace

Stereotypes Exist because They Are Proven Right

This might cross the line or piss someone off but you know what?  I don’t give a damn.  So let’s get started.

Stereotypes and the Feeling of Entitlement

Someone close to me is a bartender downtown.  The bar is not located right on Broadway or 2nd Avenue right in the heart of everything, it’s not on Eighth Avenue it is in Midtown.  Tuesday night she was at work behind the bar when a group of people came in, male and female, majority being male.  They start ordering drinks and shots of Grey Goose and Patron.  One order came in for multiple shots of Grey Goose and a female takes care of the bill…Total Bill $56..Tip amount 0.  It’s last call and she asks them if they would like a last drink.  One man says give me 8 shots of Patron while a another member of the party says “just put it all on one tab and we will split it up”.  She starts preparing the shots and is chilling the shots right in front of the 2 men.  One of them look up and tell her to make sure they are chilled.  Obviously he doesn’t see her right in front of him doing just that.  She takes a deep breathe.  After the shots are chilled, poured and served she tallies up the bill and puts it down in front of one of the men.  Total $212.  He immediately starts questioning why she put all of the drinks on his tab.  She replies because I was told to.  He starts arguing with her saying “Who the hell do you think you are putting them all on my tab”, “who the fuck does that”, “Why would you put them all on my tab?”.  She explains to him, again, that is what she was told to do from the man sitting right next to him.  The man next to him hands the guy $100 in cash.  He looks at it and says thats great but why the fuck is all the drinks on my tab?  By this point she is trying to keep her cool.  Here is a large group of people that has been ordering top shelf drinks all night long and not tipping the entire time and now he wants to argue.  She tries to explain to him once again.  He has now blown up and is yelling at her.  ”Fuck you, You shut your fucking mouth”, “Who the Fuck do you think you are?”.  She then asks them to leave the bar and tells them she will call the cops.  This just angers the man even more and he continues to yell obscenities at her.  Other people in the bar are now telling him to quit talking to her that way and to leave her alone.  He bows up and starts yelling at the people in the bar telling them to fuck off ect.  She then tells them that she is calling the cops and they need to get out of her bar now.  He starts arguing with her about that now.  Finally after way too much time had passed they left.  A man and a woman from the group proceed to their car parked right out front and sit there for the next 30 minutes.  Were they waiting to see if the cops were actually called?  Were they waiting for her to get off work?  I don’t know.  Another man from the group that comes into the bar often comes back in and tells her that she shouldn’t have called the cops and it was the wrong thing to do.  Why?  Does anyone deserve to be spoken to that way?  The answer is no.  She never did call the cops, it was a scare tactic to speed up the exiting process.

Rumor in the bar was the group of men that were in there causing this scene are Tennessee Titans.

With that said lets get into the stereotypes and entitlement.

This is from the bartender venting about that experience at the bar.

The Truth is… Some people are real mother fuckers. I dealt with some real assholes tonight at work, I heard that one or more of them may have been professional athletes. Well, sorry I don’t care who you are, act like an dick face and I will treat you like a dick face. Here’s an idea…Don’t be a dick, be happy that for some reason genetics worked out in your favor and got you out of the projects that should have been your destiny. How about you prove me wrong for a change; be polite, at least pretend like you learned something in college, learn how to say please and thank you and don’t start every sentence “uuhhhhhhhhh…”, T.I.P.S do you know what this means? If I were to paint it on some rims or line the letters with “bling” would you then understand? How about a rap song about what T.I.P.S. means? What IS important to you? I want to be wrong about you, but you just continue to prove all my assumptions right. Rims, jewelry, fancy cars, fancy clothes, gold teeth, “bitches and hos”, pit bulls, etc. Women that fancy you have no self respect. And you should leave the animals out of it, a pit bull is not a status symbol. All these other material items that you find so important are completely trivial, but sadly you may never understand this. You make me angry and I fume inside everytime I encounter you, yet somehow I still feel sorry for you, like maybe its not directly your fault. Whatever it may be just remember, I am smarter than you so please don’t try to argue with me.

Yes that sounds like she is stereotyping all over the place but Stereotypes don’t exist because someone was sitting around thinking them up to be an asshole, they exist because people choose to act a certain way therefore molding to the stereotype.  The people that choose to act this way think they are entitled to.  That is Bullshit.  If you don’t want to be stereotyped then don’t live it and then wonder why you are placed in a certain category.

Do you think anyone would think the above statement is true if it wasn’t proven right on a daily basis?  No.  It doesn’t matter the color of your skin with this stereotype it just is what it is, white, black, purple or orange.  I have been in the service industry and this person has been in the service industry for almost 15 years and it has been proven time and time again.  Ordering top shelf but yet not leaving a dollar, being rude and demanding and again not leaving a tip.  It’s sad that the stereotype is proven right more than wrong.  That’s the thing, if you don’t want to be “stereotyped” in a certain category then prove it wrong, don’t live it.  We all choose to be the people we are, if you choose to be an asshole then guess what, you will be treated like an asshole and thought of as an asshole.  Period.  It’s all in your power.  I don’t give a shit about the color of your skin.

No one is entitled to be a dick, no one ‘owes’ anybody anything except respect.  Everyone is equal..period.  If you feel that it is not equal then that is on you.  I am not knocking a lifestyle, dress, cars or what have you, its about being human and having respect for people around you and self respect.  You want to roll on 22′s, wear the best or whatever thats great but treat others with some respect.  You are not entitled to more than the person next to you.  You both are equal, you both breathe the same air.  It’s about RESPECT.

Spread Your Smile.

First thing first…

I will not be blogging like I normally do on a daily basis any longer.  This decision was made over the weekend.  I have let it somewhat consume me at times and I can’t allow that any longer.  I still will most likely blog a couple times a week and especially when I feel the need to get something out but I will no longer be sitting down every morning and forcing my fingers to type. Instead on the mornings that I don’t post I am going to dedicate that time back to my book “Awakening the Buddha Within”.  I bought this book over a year ago and read half of it and it hasn’t been touched since.  I need to get back on track with myself, my family and my husband.  ……Ommmm…..  I will be finding the inner me again and getting back to what is most important.

A smile..

I was watching the football game last night and it panned to a player on the Jets and it showed him smiling.  For the next 30 minutes I only focused on people’s smiles.  Have you ever realized how infectious a smile can be?  When they put the camera on that player and I saw his smile I couldn’t help but to smile myself.  Not because he was being funny or I thought he was good looking or any of that, it was simply because you could tell that was a genuine smile and it made me smile in return.  We, as humans, do have super powers and one of those powers is a smile.  You can warm a heart with a smile, you can turn a person’s day around simply with a smile, stranger or a friend.  Sometimes that is all one needs in their life at that very moment to make them feel better.  To me that is a super power and to me that is amazing.  So next time you see a stranger walking down the street with a not so happy look give them a smile, you never know you might just turn their day around.

With those 2 things said, remember to always be true to you, take the time to be..

Take the time to find yourself, be true to yourself, make it a point to make YOU happy and the loved ones around you.

And always spread your smile.

Peace.

Wrecks, Purple Goop, & Stupid Girls

I have a couple of different things to blog about this am so this will be a bit all over the place.  What’s new right?  Welcome to my brain.

Yesterday B was in a wreck on his way home from work on 24.  He is fine thank goodness but I wish I could say the same for the Mercedes.  It was injured.  Traffic had just started moving again and he was up to around 20mph and the chick in front of him slammed on her breaks.  His phone had just alerted him for a text or something so he had glanced down at it and BAM right in her ass.  The grill was tore up along with the headlights and it had some leakage going on.  It had to be towed.  I am just glad B is ok.  B is Pissed to say the least.

I went to the dentist yesterday to get my permanent crown on..or so I thought.  I get there with the thinking that they are going to just pop the temporary off and pop the permanent on.  Oh how I was fooled!  OF COURSE the temp didn’t want to come off.  She pried at it with the little picky thing and it wouldn’t budge.  She then proceeded to get the plier thingy tool out and started wiggling it back and forth.  Umm, yeah that hurt.  She kept asking if I wanted Novocaine and I refused because I am so tired of my mouth and face being numb.  It just ruins the day.  I kept telling myself I can do this, I have natural childbirth damnit!  I’m tough.  Well the pliers didn’t work so she had to drill the damn thing off.  After that was done she had to drill the temp filling out from the root canal and put a new one in.  I am overwhelmed with joy and a sweaty mess.  The dentist finally comes in and there is more drilling and fun.  Finally all that is done and I’m told that since I had the root canal in between the temp crown and now my permanent crown won’t fit right so she needs to do more molds to be sent off to make a new permanent crown.  Fucking joy.  She puts the big purple goop in my mouth on it’s holder which of course is too BIG for my mouth because my mouth is so small.  She sticks it in there and tells me to bite down.  I can’t get my back teeth all the way together because the god damn thing is too big.  She said it will be fine.  So I sit there with this goopy shit in my mouth for minutes.  Immediately I have saliva pouring from my mouth and she hands me a wad of kleenex, gee thanks.  Next thing I know is I am trying to swallow and a part of the purple goop has found the back of my throat.  With every attempt to swallow it inches down my throat, I am now sitting there gagging and salivating like a freaking rabid dog.  Gorgeous visual I know.  She comes in and I tell her that a part is going down my throat and she says “just one more minute”.  WHAT! I am about to vomit in your chair (I’m literally heaving in the chair) and you want me to hold it in my mouth for another minute!  I am seriously on the verge of vomiting now due to all the gagging from the purple shit that is now half way down my throat.  She finally takes it out and with one immediate swallow off the goop went.  I had her look down my throat to see if she could see it and it was gone.  Yes I swallowed a piece of the purple molding goop.  I could taste it for the next 3 hours and felt it the rest of the day making it’s way down into my body.  Fucking Yippee.  I am going to shit purple goop one day and meanwhile before that happens maybe it will make a nice mold of my intestines.  I will keep you all posted on that.  You’re welcome.  So I left there with another temporary crown and have to go back in 3 weeks now for the permanent one.  I’m ecstatic.

I have a confession, this is just between me and you so don’t blab it ok?  I watch Teen Mom.  I know, I know.  Don’t judge me too hard.  I vowed never to watch this damn show and on a day that I needed mindless TV I turned it on and now I’m hooked.  Hooked to the point that I DVR’d it Tuesday.  I am hanging my head in shame.  Anyway to my point.  I caught up on Tuesday’s episode yesterday afternoon and I found myself pissed off.  There’s a teen mom on the show that decided to give her daughter up for adoption.  She has an “open adoption” with the adopting parents.  She goes off on a retreat for moms that gave up their child for adoption on this episode.  As the moms sit around telling their stories, a woman shares her’s where she had an open adoption and then when her child turned 4 the adopting parents decided to make it closed.  This puts the chick on the show in a panic.  Her and another chick go out to talk and the other chick, who also put her child up for adoption, says that she IS a mom regardless and they both are crying yadda yadda yadda.  Now here’s my beef, but before I get into my beef I will say this * I completely understand why some choose to put a child up for adoption, I get it, I really really do.  Timing, circumstances, situations, etc. In most cases it’s for the child’s benefit and I do believe it is the right decision*.  Back to my beef.  These girls CHOSE to put their child up for adoption therefore in my eyes you forfeit rights to that child.  Rights as in parenting rights, visits and being a part of that child’s life.  If you choose to do an “Open Adoption” all you are doing to that child is mind fucking it.  I totally understand why, the woman I spoke about before, adoption went closed when the child turned 4.  After that you are doing nothing but confusing the living daylights out of that child because they cannot understand who the fuck you are and why you are just popping up here and there.  I think it is being completely selfish to put a child through that.  YOU chose to put your child up for adoption, YOU chose for someone else to be this child’s parents, YOU CHOSE this.  Therefore you have no right to intervene and be a part of this child’s life.  If the adopting parents choose to send you photos or keep you updated, fine, but you cannot expect to just pop in and out of this child’s life the whole time and expect a child to understand who the hell you are.  In my eyes, that would cause more resentment further down the road.  It is a different story when they become old enough to wrap their head around it and they are seeking you.  For now YOU chose to put your child up and not raise it therefore you FORFEIT everything.  Just my 2 cents.

Ok that is enough randomness for one day.