I’m Exhausted.

Wow how long has it been since I have done a regular post?  A week?  A month?  Longer?  All I know is that it has been for-ever.  I have been going non stop for almost a month now and this morning as I was sitting outside with B I realized I am getting exhausted.  Sad thing, there’s no end in sight.  Here is a little bit of this and a little bit of that:

-I am getting tired.

-I totally revamped my landscaping front and back.  It wore me out and made me sore.  I hate loathe landscaping.  It does look nice though so one big pat on the back for me!

-After 7 years of living in this house I finally don’t have fruit on my walls in my kitchen.  NO MORE FRUIT!  YAY!  I have been intimidated by painting my kitchen for 7 years.  I hate painting and I don’t trust my skillz in that area.  A couple of times I would pull a little piece of wallpaper off and tape it right back up because I wasn’t ready to take on the task. Well I told B the week before last that the following Monday would be the day to rid the kitchen of fruit.  Last Monday he went in and ripped a big ole piece of wallpaper off.  I almost cried.  I took a deep breathe and told myself…YOU can do this!  Well my friends I did!  It took me a whole week to get it done and now the fruit is gone and my walls are blue and white and it looks magnificent if I do say so myself!

-Due to the colors on my kitchen walls, I had to paint my chair rails and floor molding (whatever that is called) white.  This opens a whole freaking can of worms for the rest of the house.  I can’t just have white chair rails, floor molding, doors and door jams in the kitchen, No the rest of the house has to match.  So what will I be doing until I am 54 years old?  Painting.  Painting the floor molding in every room, painting the crown molding in the living room and dining room, painting doors and door jams in every room.  Good lord. Everything needs a fresh coat of paint in this house so it must be done!  I am on a mission.

-Now that I have the kitchen done, my next mission is the hall bathroom, my bathroom and my bedroom.  All need new paint.  Am I getting paid?  No.  Fuck that.  Someone should be paying me!

-Today I have another list of a 398 things to do.  I’m learning its going to be like this everyday for the rest of my life.  Fuck that too.  I just want to sit.  Today we are celebrating W’s birthday, which is actually Thursday but we are flying to South Carolina on Thursday for a family wedding so today is the day.  Dad and Susie are coming for dinner and my house is a mess.  So on top of getting the last few doors painting in the kitchen hall to the garage I need to go to the store, clean my house, finish multiple loads of laundry, scrape paint off the kitchen floor, and feed them.  Shit.

-I’m tired.

-I want to meet the person who is responsible for lighting this fire under my ass and poke them in the eyeball.  I’m tired.

-I thought my pile of trim tape was going to come alive and eat me the other day.

-We have had a Led Zeppelin painting in our kitchen for years now and after I got done painting the kitchen I thought just maybe that it would find a new home in another room.  Friday I woke up..walked into the kitchen..looked at my pretty new walls….and saw this…

B thinks I can’t cook without the boys of Zeppelin.

-My sister and I need to schedule time to go to Indiana sometime soon and see my grandma and cousins.  When am I going to fit this in?  I have no flipping clue.

-My aunt found me on FB a couple of weeks ago. Her and my mom were connected at the hip, my sister and I remind me a lot of them two.  She now lives in Florida and has zero relationship with her 2 kids who have kids of their own now.  This pisses me off to no end, especially now that I can read how she communicates with them.  It makes me want to call her out on all of her bullshit and scream “Did you not learn anything when mom passed away?” You have 2 great kids and 4 wonderful grandkids and you are choosing to not be a part of their lives.  Something could happen tomorrow and you will be left not really knowing them with no attempt made on your part to do so.  She has turned into a shitty human and it pisses me off.  She communicates with them like they are fair weather friends.  W.T.F.

-Thursday, like I said earlier, we fly to South Carolina.  B’s cousin is getting married at the Charleston Harbor Resort.  This is the first time the kids have flown and they are beside themselves with excitement.  Me on the other hand..I’m already stressed out about it.  I have never flown with kids, they have never flown.  Also adding to the stress of the trip, I have no flipping clue what to wear.  I don’t know if the wedding is right on the beach, is it inside the resort?  Heels?  Flip Flops?  I need to know this kind of stuff people!!  I don’t know what to pack for the kids, B has no clue what to pack for himself.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

-W’s been sick since last week, I think he is on the mend now, E is sneezing, and B feels like poopy.  Bad timing for this crap all around.  I swear if come Thursday I feel like crap and get this funk they have had I might slit my wrists.

I know that was all over the place but that is just a peek at the inside of my brain at the moment.  It’s all over the place and running at about 125mph.  Good times.  One day I will rest…One day. Until then..here I go.

Peace.