I’m Exhausted.

Wow how long has it been since I have done a regular post?  A week?  A month?  Longer?  All I know is that it has been for-ever.  I have been going non stop for almost a month now and this morning as I was sitting outside with B I realized I am getting exhausted.  Sad thing, there’s no end in sight.  Here is a little bit of this and a little bit of that:

-I am getting tired.

-I totally revamped my landscaping front and back.  It wore me out and made me sore.  I hate loathe landscaping.  It does look nice though so one big pat on the back for me!

-After 7 years of living in this house I finally don’t have fruit on my walls in my kitchen.  NO MORE FRUIT!  YAY!  I have been intimidated by painting my kitchen for 7 years.  I hate painting and I don’t trust my skillz in that area.  A couple of times I would pull a little piece of wallpaper off and tape it right back up because I wasn’t ready to take on the task. Well I told B the week before last that the following Monday would be the day to rid the kitchen of fruit.  Last Monday he went in and ripped a big ole piece of wallpaper off.  I almost cried.  I took a deep breathe and told myself…YOU can do this!  Well my friends I did!  It took me a whole week to get it done and now the fruit is gone and my walls are blue and white and it looks magnificent if I do say so myself!

-Due to the colors on my kitchen walls, I had to paint my chair rails and floor molding (whatever that is called) white.  This opens a whole freaking can of worms for the rest of the house.  I can’t just have white chair rails, floor molding, doors and door jams in the kitchen, No the rest of the house has to match.  So what will I be doing until I am 54 years old?  Painting.  Painting the floor molding in every room, painting the crown molding in the living room and dining room, painting doors and door jams in every room.  Good lord. Everything needs a fresh coat of paint in this house so it must be done!  I am on a mission.

-Now that I have the kitchen done, my next mission is the hall bathroom, my bathroom and my bedroom.  All need new paint.  Am I getting paid?  No.  Fuck that.  Someone should be paying me!

-Today I have another list of a 398 things to do.  I’m learning its going to be like this everyday for the rest of my life.  Fuck that too.  I just want to sit.  Today we are celebrating W’s birthday, which is actually Thursday but we are flying to South Carolina on Thursday for a family wedding so today is the day.  Dad and Susie are coming for dinner and my house is a mess.  So on top of getting the last few doors painting in the kitchen hall to the garage I need to go to the store, clean my house, finish multiple loads of laundry, scrape paint off the kitchen floor, and feed them.  Shit.

-I’m tired.

-I want to meet the person who is responsible for lighting this fire under my ass and poke them in the eyeball.  I’m tired.

-I thought my pile of trim tape was going to come alive and eat me the other day.

-We have had a Led Zeppelin painting in our kitchen for years now and after I got done painting the kitchen I thought just maybe that it would find a new home in another room.  Friday I woke up..walked into the kitchen..looked at my pretty new walls….and saw this…

B thinks I can’t cook without the boys of Zeppelin.

-My sister and I need to schedule time to go to Indiana sometime soon and see my grandma and cousins.  When am I going to fit this in?  I have no flipping clue.

-My aunt found me on FB a couple of weeks ago. Her and my mom were connected at the hip, my sister and I remind me a lot of them two.  She now lives in Florida and has zero relationship with her 2 kids who have kids of their own now.  This pisses me off to no end, especially now that I can read how she communicates with them.  It makes me want to call her out on all of her bullshit and scream “Did you not learn anything when mom passed away?” You have 2 great kids and 4 wonderful grandkids and you are choosing to not be a part of their lives.  Something could happen tomorrow and you will be left not really knowing them with no attempt made on your part to do so.  She has turned into a shitty human and it pisses me off.  She communicates with them like they are fair weather friends.  W.T.F.

-Thursday, like I said earlier, we fly to South Carolina.  B’s cousin is getting married at the Charleston Harbor Resort.  This is the first time the kids have flown and they are beside themselves with excitement.  Me on the other hand..I’m already stressed out about it.  I have never flown with kids, they have never flown.  Also adding to the stress of the trip, I have no flipping clue what to wear.  I don’t know if the wedding is right on the beach, is it inside the resort?  Heels?  Flip Flops?  I need to know this kind of stuff people!!  I don’t know what to pack for the kids, B has no clue what to pack for himself.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

-W’s been sick since last week, I think he is on the mend now, E is sneezing, and B feels like poopy.  Bad timing for this crap all around.  I swear if come Thursday I feel like crap and get this funk they have had I might slit my wrists.

I know that was all over the place but that is just a peek at the inside of my brain at the moment.  It’s all over the place and running at about 125mph.  Good times.  One day I will rest…One day. Until then..here I go.

Peace.

My Photo Shoot – Lucid Linds Studio, Nashville TN

My sister is in the process of opening her own amazing video/photography studio within her loft downtown, Lucid Linds Studio.  She has had a couple of paying shoots already by friends and is in the process of finalizing everything and waiting on her website to be done.  Meanwhile she is finishing up the inside and placing ads to get the attention of local photographers.  Friday we planned to do a photo shoot of both of us to show all the different options for the studio to add to her porfolio.  Well it ended up being a shoot of just me.  Now I am not a model, never claimed to be, don’t think I am even close to one but I will say I am pretty proud of how the shots turned out.  I was totally uncomfortable in front of the camera for the first half but then we turned up the music and just had fun with it.  Here are some shots from the shoot.  All photos are taken by my sister and edited by me.  If you are a photographer in the Nashville area looking for a great place to shoot that offers many inside and outside shooting options, leave a comment and I will get you the information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freaky Deaky

It’s been an eventful but yet uneventful kinda holiday weekend.  Does that make sense?  Not sure and don’t care, it’s my blog, I don’t have to make sense.  heehee.

Friday I spent the day with my sister and we realized at dinner that even though we are 4 years and 1 day apart somehow someway we are twins that share the same brain….to the point of being freaky.  Here are a couple of examples:

-Even though between the 2 of us we own 593 pairs of shoes and out of the 593 pairs of shoes we both own 2 pairs of the same shoes, Friday she walks in and we have the same shoes on.  I can’t tell you how many times this happens and not only with shoes, it happens with clothes as well.

-Friday night at dinner we finished each other sentences and after a silent pause we both opened our mouths at the exact same time and the exact same words came out in the exact same order in the exact same tone…Twice.  It happened again yesterday.  Fah-ree-ky.

Also Friday at dinner my sister asked E if she could draw a tattoo on her and in return E could draw a tattoo on her.  My sister drew a cute little heart on E..Ahh so cute.  E in return drew a….

a puppy dog...or something

 It’s so windy outside right now that I keep watching for the witch on her bike to fly by my window.  Some random info for ya.

We watched Disney’s “Oceans” last night.  This has been out for quite awhile and I’m always late to the movie party.  This movie/documentary is hands down the BEST nature doc I have ever seen.  I was in awwe the entire time and the only words B and I spoke throughout the entire movie was “wow” and “that is crazy”.  If you have not seen this, you need to..right now..go now..now damnit.

Last week I bought some music for my ipod, Adele and Pistol Annies.  Pistol Annies is a country girl trio put together by Miranda Lambert.  I had heard a song by them awhile ago on a friend’s blog, loved it and then it left my mind.  Well I came across them again on itunes and fell in love again.  If you could tell the wear of a song on an ipod this album would be plum worn out and I’ve only had it since Thursday.  I can’t get enough of it, every song is fantastic.  Here is my fav.

and another…

Happy Tuesday..

Peace.

Balls to the Wall.

It’s been a crazy weekend and week already and it’s only Tuesday. ACK!  Here’s the rundown.

-Friday night B and I went to see Bill Burr at Zanie’s.  This was my second time seeing him and I was stoked because he was funny as hell the first time around.  Yeah, well he has lost some of his funny.  He still made me laugh, don’t get me wrong here but not like the first time around.  I found myself a few times sitting there not laughing and thinking “STOP F’n Yelling Dude!”.  There was 12 of us that went to the show and we were all at a long table packed in like sardines.  The long table next to us was full of young kids.  They had to be only 21 if not there with a fake ID.  They drove me fucking nuts the entire night.  The dudes were all plaid shorts with button down shirts with the collars popped, the girls in their little bitty dresses and stupid headbands…that right there was enough to make me want to punch them in the back of the heads but oh no they had more to make this night fan-fucking-tastic.  They are all drinking like crazy, I notice they started passing around a flask and popped collar toolbag would tell whoever he passed it to to “CHUG”.  Shut the fuck up douchehole, we are at a comedy club not a freaking bar.  The girls wouldn’t shut the fuck up through the entire show.  I hear their annoying giggling and talking all night long.  Full conversations going on through the whole thing.  I wanted to punch the blonde in the back of her little fucking head.  This said blonde gets up at one point to go to the restroom she comes back and sits down on popped collar dude’s lap.  Of fucking course they are a couple.  Her sitting on his lap put her head right in my view.  I sat there for 2 minutes steaming and then reached up and tapped popped collar dude on the shoulder and told him she needs to get the hell out of my way.  Of course she shoots me a look and I shoot one right back.  She moves to the chair right next to him and now they want to make out.  For the Love of God you fucking ninkapoops!

- as I am telling my Dad this story he reminds me that the Douchey McDouchersons that I just talked about most likely looked and talked about me as “that old woman” at the show.  That’s fine with me.

-Saturday B and I kicked ass.  Kicked Ass I say!  We cleaned out the garage and threw a whole stake body truck full of shit away.  Yes a whole freaking truck full of shit.  Stuff that we thought we needed to keep, old furniture that was from my childhood that I thought I needed to keep.  I finally came to terms with the decision to pitch it.  Yes I could have kept it and passed it down to my kids but what the hell are they going to do with it?  Most likely stick it in their garage and go through the same thinking that I went through.  If we hadn’t touched it in the last year we pitched it.  We went through cabinets and laundry room as well and what a difference it made.  Man it feels good!  Ahhh…Deep Breath…and exhale…  We started at 10am and didn’t stop until almost 8pm.  We were pooped.

-The reason for the clean out was to make room for my new stand up Freezer!  WOO HOO!  You know you’re getting old when you get excited for a freezer.  Yep, that would be me!  We have wanted one forever and after I started couponing we decided it must be done.  My freezer is so pretty, I find myself going out and just looking at it.  That right there people is just sad.

-Speaking of couponing, I have been at it for 4 weeks now and have saved almost $500 to date!  That makes this momma happy happy happy!  Yes I have a little stock pile started but nothing huge.  Just enough that I don’t have to go buy stupid expensive crap for the next 3-4 months.  I am stocked on cleaning supplies, girlie products, bathroom essentials, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop and a few other things.

A few of my store Scores:

-Boxes of cereal for $.65! (Cinnamon Toast Crunch) (Also a few other kinds for $1.25 a box)

-Betty Crocker sides for $.65 a box

-Playtex Tampons for $.99 an 18 count box!

-Resolve stain remover for clothes for $.50 a bottle

-Dial handsoap $.18 a pump

Yesterday I headed out to run my errands and had to stop by Publix.  I went in with a short list of things I needed and my coupon binder.  After scanning the aisles one by one with my coupons I found deals that I was expecting, so needless to say I bought more than what I had planned on but it was all stuff that I would need in the near future.  I walked out of there spending $95 after saving $90!  I’ll take that especially at Publix!  They have some of the best deals if you do it right!

-Yesterday was another balls to the wall day.  After running a shit ton of errands, the kids came home and we headed out to get E’s dance stuff that she needs for her first class tonight.  We had to drive 45 minutes to the closest dancewear store.  Her class is a combo class so she will be doing Ballet, Jazz and Hip Hop.  So we needed a leotard, tights and ballet shoes for ballet and boy shorts, sports bra type top and jazz shoes for jazz. Thank god for Hip Hop they can wear sweats, t-shirt and tennis shoes because for the other two it cost me an arm and a leg. My daughter now needs to go get a job at the age of 6.  She did dance 2 years ago with a different company and I didn’t like it and she just wasn’t ready so I pulled her from it.  This time around it is with a new dance company and she is so excited about it.  This dance company is amazing.  Along with regular classes they also have competition teams, one of their dance teams won Nationals last year.  How awesome is that?  Needless to say I am stoked for her to start and I hope she really likes it and wants to stick with it and maybe eventually compete if she wants.  (that might be one of my childhood dreams coming out through her but oh well, my parents would never let me be in dance when I was little and that is all I wanted to do)

 

So there is that.  Aren’t you glad I shared all that?  SO exciting, I know.  :P

Stereotypes Exist because They Are Proven Right

This might cross the line or piss someone off but you know what?  I don’t give a damn.  So let’s get started.

Stereotypes and the Feeling of Entitlement

Someone close to me is a bartender downtown.  The bar is not located right on Broadway or 2nd Avenue right in the heart of everything, it’s not on Eighth Avenue it is in Midtown.  Tuesday night she was at work behind the bar when a group of people came in, male and female, majority being male.  They start ordering drinks and shots of Grey Goose and Patron.  One order came in for multiple shots of Grey Goose and a female takes care of the bill…Total Bill $56..Tip amount 0.  It’s last call and she asks them if they would like a last drink.  One man says give me 8 shots of Patron while a another member of the party says “just put it all on one tab and we will split it up”.  She starts preparing the shots and is chilling the shots right in front of the 2 men.  One of them look up and tell her to make sure they are chilled.  Obviously he doesn’t see her right in front of him doing just that.  She takes a deep breathe.  After the shots are chilled, poured and served she tallies up the bill and puts it down in front of one of the men.  Total $212.  He immediately starts questioning why she put all of the drinks on his tab.  She replies because I was told to.  He starts arguing with her saying “Who the hell do you think you are putting them all on my tab”, “who the fuck does that”, “Why would you put them all on my tab?”.  She explains to him, again, that is what she was told to do from the man sitting right next to him.  The man next to him hands the guy $100 in cash.  He looks at it and says thats great but why the fuck is all the drinks on my tab?  By this point she is trying to keep her cool.  Here is a large group of people that has been ordering top shelf drinks all night long and not tipping the entire time and now he wants to argue.  She tries to explain to him once again.  He has now blown up and is yelling at her.  ”Fuck you, You shut your fucking mouth”, “Who the Fuck do you think you are?”.  She then asks them to leave the bar and tells them she will call the cops.  This just angers the man even more and he continues to yell obscenities at her.  Other people in the bar are now telling him to quit talking to her that way and to leave her alone.  He bows up and starts yelling at the people in the bar telling them to fuck off ect.  She then tells them that she is calling the cops and they need to get out of her bar now.  He starts arguing with her about that now.  Finally after way too much time had passed they left.  A man and a woman from the group proceed to their car parked right out front and sit there for the next 30 minutes.  Were they waiting to see if the cops were actually called?  Were they waiting for her to get off work?  I don’t know.  Another man from the group that comes into the bar often comes back in and tells her that she shouldn’t have called the cops and it was the wrong thing to do.  Why?  Does anyone deserve to be spoken to that way?  The answer is no.  She never did call the cops, it was a scare tactic to speed up the exiting process.

Rumor in the bar was the group of men that were in there causing this scene are Tennessee Titans.

With that said lets get into the stereotypes and entitlement.

This is from the bartender venting about that experience at the bar.

The Truth is… Some people are real mother fuckers. I dealt with some real assholes tonight at work, I heard that one or more of them may have been professional athletes. Well, sorry I don’t care who you are, act like an dick face and I will treat you like a dick face. Here’s an idea…Don’t be a dick, be happy that for some reason genetics worked out in your favor and got you out of the projects that should have been your destiny. How about you prove me wrong for a change; be polite, at least pretend like you learned something in college, learn how to say please and thank you and don’t start every sentence “uuhhhhhhhhh…”, T.I.P.S do you know what this means? If I were to paint it on some rims or line the letters with “bling” would you then understand? How about a rap song about what T.I.P.S. means? What IS important to you? I want to be wrong about you, but you just continue to prove all my assumptions right. Rims, jewelry, fancy cars, fancy clothes, gold teeth, “bitches and hos”, pit bulls, etc. Women that fancy you have no self respect. And you should leave the animals out of it, a pit bull is not a status symbol. All these other material items that you find so important are completely trivial, but sadly you may never understand this. You make me angry and I fume inside everytime I encounter you, yet somehow I still feel sorry for you, like maybe its not directly your fault. Whatever it may be just remember, I am smarter than you so please don’t try to argue with me.

Yes that sounds like she is stereotyping all over the place but Stereotypes don’t exist because someone was sitting around thinking them up to be an asshole, they exist because people choose to act a certain way therefore molding to the stereotype.  The people that choose to act this way think they are entitled to.  That is Bullshit.  If you don’t want to be stereotyped then don’t live it and then wonder why you are placed in a certain category.

Do you think anyone would think the above statement is true if it wasn’t proven right on a daily basis?  No.  It doesn’t matter the color of your skin with this stereotype it just is what it is, white, black, purple or orange.  I have been in the service industry and this person has been in the service industry for almost 15 years and it has been proven time and time again.  Ordering top shelf but yet not leaving a dollar, being rude and demanding and again not leaving a tip.  It’s sad that the stereotype is proven right more than wrong.  That’s the thing, if you don’t want to be “stereotyped” in a certain category then prove it wrong, don’t live it.  We all choose to be the people we are, if you choose to be an asshole then guess what, you will be treated like an asshole and thought of as an asshole.  Period.  It’s all in your power.  I don’t give a shit about the color of your skin.

No one is entitled to be a dick, no one ‘owes’ anybody anything except respect.  Everyone is equal..period.  If you feel that it is not equal then that is on you.  I am not knocking a lifestyle, dress, cars or what have you, its about being human and having respect for people around you and self respect.  You want to roll on 22′s, wear the best or whatever thats great but treat others with some respect.  You are not entitled to more than the person next to you.  You both are equal, you both breathe the same air.  It’s about RESPECT.

Wrecks, Purple Goop, & Stupid Girls

I have a couple of different things to blog about this am so this will be a bit all over the place.  What’s new right?  Welcome to my brain.

Yesterday B was in a wreck on his way home from work on 24.  He is fine thank goodness but I wish I could say the same for the Mercedes.  It was injured.  Traffic had just started moving again and he was up to around 20mph and the chick in front of him slammed on her breaks.  His phone had just alerted him for a text or something so he had glanced down at it and BAM right in her ass.  The grill was tore up along with the headlights and it had some leakage going on.  It had to be towed.  I am just glad B is ok.  B is Pissed to say the least.

I went to the dentist yesterday to get my permanent crown on..or so I thought.  I get there with the thinking that they are going to just pop the temporary off and pop the permanent on.  Oh how I was fooled!  OF COURSE the temp didn’t want to come off.  She pried at it with the little picky thing and it wouldn’t budge.  She then proceeded to get the plier thingy tool out and started wiggling it back and forth.  Umm, yeah that hurt.  She kept asking if I wanted Novocaine and I refused because I am so tired of my mouth and face being numb.  It just ruins the day.  I kept telling myself I can do this, I have natural childbirth damnit!  I’m tough.  Well the pliers didn’t work so she had to drill the damn thing off.  After that was done she had to drill the temp filling out from the root canal and put a new one in.  I am overwhelmed with joy and a sweaty mess.  The dentist finally comes in and there is more drilling and fun.  Finally all that is done and I’m told that since I had the root canal in between the temp crown and now my permanent crown won’t fit right so she needs to do more molds to be sent off to make a new permanent crown.  Fucking joy.  She puts the big purple goop in my mouth on it’s holder which of course is too BIG for my mouth because my mouth is so small.  She sticks it in there and tells me to bite down.  I can’t get my back teeth all the way together because the god damn thing is too big.  She said it will be fine.  So I sit there with this goopy shit in my mouth for minutes.  Immediately I have saliva pouring from my mouth and she hands me a wad of kleenex, gee thanks.  Next thing I know is I am trying to swallow and a part of the purple goop has found the back of my throat.  With every attempt to swallow it inches down my throat, I am now sitting there gagging and salivating like a freaking rabid dog.  Gorgeous visual I know.  She comes in and I tell her that a part is going down my throat and she says “just one more minute”.  WHAT! I am about to vomit in your chair (I’m literally heaving in the chair) and you want me to hold it in my mouth for another minute!  I am seriously on the verge of vomiting now due to all the gagging from the purple shit that is now half way down my throat.  She finally takes it out and with one immediate swallow off the goop went.  I had her look down my throat to see if she could see it and it was gone.  Yes I swallowed a piece of the purple molding goop.  I could taste it for the next 3 hours and felt it the rest of the day making it’s way down into my body.  Fucking Yippee.  I am going to shit purple goop one day and meanwhile before that happens maybe it will make a nice mold of my intestines.  I will keep you all posted on that.  You’re welcome.  So I left there with another temporary crown and have to go back in 3 weeks now for the permanent one.  I’m ecstatic.

I have a confession, this is just between me and you so don’t blab it ok?  I watch Teen Mom.  I know, I know.  Don’t judge me too hard.  I vowed never to watch this damn show and on a day that I needed mindless TV I turned it on and now I’m hooked.  Hooked to the point that I DVR’d it Tuesday.  I am hanging my head in shame.  Anyway to my point.  I caught up on Tuesday’s episode yesterday afternoon and I found myself pissed off.  There’s a teen mom on the show that decided to give her daughter up for adoption.  She has an “open adoption” with the adopting parents.  She goes off on a retreat for moms that gave up their child for adoption on this episode.  As the moms sit around telling their stories, a woman shares her’s where she had an open adoption and then when her child turned 4 the adopting parents decided to make it closed.  This puts the chick on the show in a panic.  Her and another chick go out to talk and the other chick, who also put her child up for adoption, says that she IS a mom regardless and they both are crying yadda yadda yadda.  Now here’s my beef, but before I get into my beef I will say this * I completely understand why some choose to put a child up for adoption, I get it, I really really do.  Timing, circumstances, situations, etc. In most cases it’s for the child’s benefit and I do believe it is the right decision*.  Back to my beef.  These girls CHOSE to put their child up for adoption therefore in my eyes you forfeit rights to that child.  Rights as in parenting rights, visits and being a part of that child’s life.  If you choose to do an “Open Adoption” all you are doing to that child is mind fucking it.  I totally understand why, the woman I spoke about before, adoption went closed when the child turned 4.  After that you are doing nothing but confusing the living daylights out of that child because they cannot understand who the fuck you are and why you are just popping up here and there.  I think it is being completely selfish to put a child through that.  YOU chose to put your child up for adoption, YOU chose for someone else to be this child’s parents, YOU CHOSE this.  Therefore you have no right to intervene and be a part of this child’s life.  If the adopting parents choose to send you photos or keep you updated, fine, but you cannot expect to just pop in and out of this child’s life the whole time and expect a child to understand who the hell you are.  In my eyes, that would cause more resentment further down the road.  It is a different story when they become old enough to wrap their head around it and they are seeking you.  For now YOU chose to put your child up and not raise it therefore you FORFEIT everything.  Just my 2 cents.

Ok that is enough randomness for one day.

 

 

 

Friday’s Survival Sarcasm – Brought to you by the Letter F & #1

The following installment of Survival Sarcasm is brought to you by:

someecards.com and bluntcard.com

The Letter F

As In...

and the number 1

Now that that is out of the way let’s get this started, shall we?  We shall.

Shark Week needs to be over.

This is very true.

It has to start somewhere.

I'm going to start using this.

I hate that!

Your Public Service Announcement for the day

This is my opinion of the human race 97% of the time.

My life story

Well that pretty much sums it up!

FACT.

dumbass

I'm tired of having "swamp ass" it causes chaffing.

Shew...I'm glad they aren't going broke

Fatass

because it would be AWESOME

majority of the general public

try working out fatass

As always Rock Your Friday!

Peace.

Vegas Baby Prt 3 – When the Ppl that Live in Your Computer Come to Life

Left off Tuesday at Wednesday late afternoon…..

Tonight we have a date with Thypolar and Hacking Vegas at 7:00!  We have never met these crazy blogging/twitter buddies so we are stoked!

We played blackjack till 6:30 and then scrambled up to our room to get ready.  We were outside waiting for them by 6:50, we are fucking champs!

They roll up.  It’s time to meet my girl Thy!  I’m so excited!!!!!  Blogging/twitter buddies coming alive in real life!!  STOKED!  And no they aren’t serial killers because I’m here today!  Double Score.     That was a joke of course.   But they didn’t try to murder us, butt rape us or take us to a dark alley so they are cool.  heehee.

We hop in the car and immediately start chatting it up like old friends.  Mr. T takes off driving like a mad cab driver taking us through parking garages and back streets (this is where I thought maybe we would end up in a dark alley     ) and we end up at Ceasar’s Palace somehow.  I’m not questioning it, I’m just happy to be alive.  hahahaha!

We are going to see Absinthe.  We grab a beer and get in line, talking it up, sharing pictures and stories.  I LOVE these people!  It’s time to head inside.

Sorry the pic is so dark, it’s all Mr. T’s fault!

The show starts and 2 minutes in it’s already better than the Criss Angel show.  It’s like an old traveling circus show.  The humor is rude and crude and PERFECT!  The acts start and they were amazing!  A guy stacking chairs up to the top of the tent and climbed them, girls topless besides their pasties, 4 guys climbing each other, 2 guys balancing each other, a guy and girl on roller skates spinning each other like crazy and a tight rope act.  ALL this with no net or safety harnesses and we were 10 feet from the stage!  My face hurt from laughing so hard and my heart almost stopped beating a couple of times!  The show was hands down the BEST!!  What makes it even better than the BEST is seeing it with Thy and Mr. T!!

After the show we headed down to Fremont Street.  It is like stepping back in time, the feel of the old casinos (which scared me just a bit), the lights, and the people.  There was a band playing out on the street so we stopped for a beer and a listen.

The best people EVER! I heart them!

You can zipline down Fremont Street, the guys were all about it and Thy jumped on board with the thinking she was going to die.  haha!  4 can zipline at the same time so Thy got cocky and was all about winning.  Us girls didn’t have a chance against the guys.  Why?  Because we are tiny little things so the guys have weight on their side.  Turds.  B was the first off, you could here him hooting and hollering the whole way down.  Mr. T was close behind him while Thy and I came in 3rd and 4th.  It was awesome!  It was their first time ziplining on Fremont so it was really cool to get to do that with them.

Mr. T always looks so damn happy or like he has something in his pants playing with his butt.  :P

Soon after we ziplined I turned into a poophead.  All of a sudden didn’t feel so hot.  It could have been the fact that I drank in the afternoon, only ate one meal that day, and the heat.  I was feeling rough and lost my gusto.  I felt awful because well I felt awful and was putting a damper on the evening.  :(   Next trip out I will make it up to Thy and Mr. T, I promise!  I talked up so much we are going to party hardy and here I was feeling like poo and ready to hit the room.  We walked around for a bit more and then headed back to hotel.

Even though the end of the night ended with me feeling rough we had a fabulous time all night with Thy and Mr. T.  They are hands down 2 of the coolest, nicest, wonderful, most genuine people out there.  I am ecstatic that we got to meet them and I am pretty sure it’s safe to say that this friendship will go on for a very very long time.  It was so cool to get to know them outside of the blogosphere and twitter.

Our trip even ended with them!  They offered to give us a ride to the airport the next day.  They picked us up and guess who was with them?  13!!!!!!!  I got to me the one and only 13!  She is such a beautiful, polite and sweet thing.  I almost put her in my suitcase to bring her home with me but Mr. T was watching in the rear view mirror.  Damn it!   The ride to the airport there was talk about them making a trip to Nashville!  WOO-HOO!  I am holding you guys to it!!!!      There were many hugs goodbye and I was sad to leave.  I could have spent a whole day with them and would be happy just hanging out talking.  We will do that next time!

So to you Thy and Mr. T,

Thank you so much for taking time out to spend with us.  We had a blast and can’t wait to do it again.  You guys rock!  Thank you for the ride to the airport and I can’t wait to see you guys again!!!  I am holding you to your Nashville visit.  Next time I promise NOT to drink in the afternoon and I will eat all my meals that day so I don’t turn into a poophead and ruin the fun!  So until the next real life meet up I will see you in Twitterville and the blogosphere!

Love you guys!!!

ps. Mr. T – Remember tonguing is spelled T-O-N-G-U-I-N-G.  heehee

Best trip to Vegas EVER!!!

Vegas Baby – Part 2 Blackjack Drama & Lots of Shots

Alright I left off yesterday on Tuesday night..It is now Wednesday Morning…

B decided to sleep in and I was up and at’em.  I was going insane because I was ready to start the day..at the blackjack tables of course.  Duh, we are in Vegas!  Finally sleepy head decided to get up, we drank our crack and headed down to the casino.

It’s about 11:30 am.

We find a blackjack table with one young woman sitting at it so we join her.  Little did we know that she was HAMMERED!  It didn’t take too long…it took right around 1 minute or 1 hand into it, however you want to time it.  A few minutes after we sat down another young guy around our age joined us, his name was Keith.  So there are 4 of us at the table now…5 including our wonderful and awesome dealer Debbie.  So we are all on the same page here is the run down of characters for the day…

Debbie – our dealer

Joslin – the young hammered woman

Keith – young man at the table with us

Billy – Pit Boss

Gerald – Big pit boss

Here we go.

B and I order a mimosa as does Keith, Joslin (better yet let’s just stick with hammered girl because it’s more fitting) orders whatever the hell she is hammering at noon and we begin to play.  Hammered girl starts asking Keith if he is a homo and for the next 20 minutes he tries to convince her he is not.  I think he almost took her to his room to plant something in her ass to prove it.  Now she is keeping all of her chips in her purse so every hand we have to wait for her to dig out more chips or pick her purse up off the floor to get the chips etc.  I am starting to get annoyed.  Keith buys us a round of shots…Kamikazes.

Another mimosa for me…Bloody Mary for B.

Debbie was awesome.  She was a sport through this whole thing and kept a smile on her face the entire time, even with hammered girl raising her voice and becoming belligerent.  Billy, the pit boss, notices hammered girl raising her voice, sees the look on my face and comes over to check on things.  By this point Debbie has cut off hammered girl with the cocktail waitress, unknowingly to hammered girl.  She informs Billy of this and he puts ME in charge of the table.  Umm..huh?     Hammered girl tries to get another drink, finds out she is cut off and is not happy.

Another Mimosa for me and bloody mary for B..Yes please!

We play while trying to ignore hammered chick.  Keith is awesome and fun.  Ignoring her was hard because now she is talking B’s ear off.  She is asking him insane questions, he says something about me being his wife and now she won’t shut up about that.  ”You mean you got her?”  ”well your wife is hot” “I can’t believe you scored her”.  WTF?  SHUT UP! Next thing I know I look over and hammered girl is hanging on B, meaning her arms were completely around him with all of her wait hanging on his shoulder.  I feel my pulse rise.  (if I wasn’t already annoyed with her it probably wouldn’t have fazed me)  I hear B say get your fucking hands off of me.  I make eye contact with her and tell her “Get your fucking hands off of my husband…NOW!”  Yep stirring up trouble on the blackjack table.  Good Lord.  Of course she starts bawling.  For the love of all things hammered this chick wouldn’t stop crying!  ”I’m so sorry” “if it was my husband I would be pissed too” blah blah blah.  First off why are you hammered at noon? and where the fuck are your friends?  So we spend the next 5 minutes trying to get her to stop crying.  Meanwhile Debbie has called the Big Pit Boss Gerald.  He was awesome.  He was this huge black guy with a very intimidating ‘take no shit’ look.  He just stood at the corner of our table and watched her.  I was cracking up.

Keith gets us another round of shots…Washington Apples.  It’s 1:00.

Keith decides he wants to buy a chick at another table a drink and makes the mistake of letting hammered girl know this.  She gets up to go talk to this chick to see if she is single.  Gerald, the big pit boss, stops her mid way next thing we know she is standing there crying…again.

Hammered girl makes it back to the table, unfortunately.  Keith at this point has had enough of her too.  Something gets said and the next thing I hear is from Keith to Hammered girl “Can you please shut the fuck up?, you are ruining my table karma! Just shut up or leave”.  I am about to bust out laughing and I want to high five our new found friend.  B and I decide we need to eat and coat our bellies because if we keep up at this pace we will be passed out in our room by 3.  We get up from the table and watch hammered girl literally cry to Keith and apologize.  When we finally see her walk away we head to eat.

We stop by the room after lunch and this is what happened.  Truth be told this is what happened almost every time we went to the room.

He loved that damn pillow.

Back down to the tables we went after B’s playtime with the pillow.  Debbie’s table was open with only Keith sitting there.  Score.  We sit back down and he immediately buys us another round of shots…Straight up Makers Mark.  I passed because I am not woman enough for that shot.  I ordered a beer.  Keith has obviously has been going strong since we left because he is 3 sheets to the wind by now.  It’s 3:30.  We continue to play and have a great time, until Keith decides we all need another round of shots.  Good lord.  This time the shots were Deck Farts.  They tasted just like their name but I drank it anyway because I’m cool like that.

Debbie this entire time was awesome.  She cut up with us the entire time and was very tolerant of all bullshit at the table throughout the day.  I heart Debbie.

Mind you Wednesday afternoon we were more buzzed than we were our entire trip.  Maturity?  Age?  Free shots?  I don’t know.  You pick and I’ll go with it.

We have plans this evening to meet up with Thypolar and Mr. T and they are picking us up at 7:00.  WOO-HOO!

I started to write about that and realized how long it was going to make this post so now you must wait until tomorrow!

Oh the Suspense!  ….When Blogging friends come to life!!!!!

Vegas Baby – Part 1

The Vegas vacation was awesome and I do believe that is an understatement.  We had a blast.  Here’s the recap.

We started off at the airport of course and a trip through security is always fun for me.  Why you ask?  Because I’m always one to get pulled and patted.  I don’t know why but it never fails.  I tweeted after going through security that day and I got a response of “you must look like a drug mule”.  This may be true.  I had on a thin tank, shorts, and flip flops.  That is it. No belt, no big pockets nothing.  They put me in the spinny look inside you thing and immediately get questioned if there is anything in my back pockets.  I said no just buttons on the pockets..wtf!  So of course I get the rub down from Mary Butchess who, I’m telling myself, just wants to rub my ass.  After my molestation I immediately get called over to another stand where I am told to stand still and put my palms up.  Now I’m thinking HOLY SHIT, what the hell.  Dude takes a piece of cloth and wipes my palms, I look at my hands and they are shaking like crazy.  I know there is nothing on them…I’m hoping..but it’s still nerve wracking.  I finally get the clear to proceed.  That was good times.

Ok on to the good stuff!

We arrive in Las Vegas grab a coffee and our bags and it’s to the hotel we go.  The hotel was gorgeous.  We check in and head to our room.  The room was amazing.  Everything about our hotel was fabulous from the scent of vanilla when you walked through the front doors down to the bed in our room.  The bed was THE most comfortable bed I have ever slept on while on vacation.  It was tough to get out of it in the mornings.  Everything in the room was controlled by a bed side touch screen..so fancy.  What you noticed about the hotel was the smell, the lines of the design, and the textures used all over.  It was gorgeous.

Our View

B taking in the View

We settled into the room, chilled for a moment and off we went to check out our new home for the week.  We headed down to the casino and found an open blackjack table.  We played for a few and came out ahead…time to move on.  Our hotel was connected to the Monte Carlo by foot and to the Bellagio, Vdara and Crystals by tram.  We headed to the Monte Carlo.  There we walked around and had dinner at The Brand Steakhouse.  Seriously, the best filet I have ever had….Ever.  Yum.  We headed back to the room for a minute and to change because I was getting frost bite on my toes, it’s freaking cold in the casinos.  We were off to the Bellagio.  Let’s just say the blackjack tables at the Bellagio that night was so very nice to us.  We cashed in and headed outside into the freaking oven that is Las Vegas.  The fountains were going outside the Bellagio we stopped and took that in for a moment then headed down the block.  Yeah we made it to the corner of the Bellagio before saying screw this we are sweaty let’s go back in.

Now by this point I have done some major people watching and what I can’t get over is the number of kids in Vegas.  To me Vegas is not a family destination.  Kids were everywhere!  While we were eating dinner that evening, I noticed a couple of kids plopped down at the wall while their parents played at the tables.  What!  Blows my mind but whatever, mine weren’t there and that is all that matters to me!  

Monday night we were back in our room a little too early for Vegas style but we were pooped from the day.  Tuesday was a brand new day.  Tuesday morning I got a tweet from Hacking Vegas (a fellow blogger & tweetster) who just happens to be a cab driver in the wonderful LV asking if we needed a ride anywhere.  SCORE!  This is a score for a couple of reasons…1. We get to meet the one and only Mr. T and 2. it’s freaking hot and it’s too early to work up a sweat walking.  Mr. T (the ultimate LV Hack) arrived (I was so excited to meet him!) and took us down to the Venetian.  We decided that we needed to take in a show that evening and we decided on Criss Angel’s Believe and got tickets.  The rest of the afternoon we walked 86.3 miles from casino to casino.  We stopped by The Mirage which was like walking back into time, the casino was just old and the people in there….I will just leave it at that.  Time to move on.  We stopped by Caesar’s Palace and then back to the Bellagio we went.

Me outside of the Mirage

It was time to hit the room and get ready for the evening.  We made reservations at Sirio for dinner and had some time to kill so we headed down to play some blackjack.  I didn’t like that I had to get up from the table for dinner, let’s just say I was on a roll.  Dinner was once again fabulous.  Sirio offers the taste of Tuscany and it was, again, the best pasta I have ever had.

The Criss Angel show was at the Luxor.  We were excited, it’s Criss Angel!  Yeah well, I really wish I could say nice things about the show but I can’t.  It was awful.  It was a huge huge waste of money.  You could tell how everything was done, there was no Vegas Glam or WOW, it was like it was thrown together in 5 minutes.  We were, to say the least, disappointed.  There were a couple of things that were alright but for the most part I wish I would have lost the money we spent on this show at a blackjack table.  After the show we played a few hands and felt the need to get the hell out of there.  We headed outside to get a cab and the line was a mile long.  At this point B is just bitter and pissy (mostly due to the fact that we just wasted too much money on a shit show) and he wasn’t about to stand in line for 15 minutes for a freaking cab.  We hoofed it down a casino and caught a cab there.  Why didn’t we just walk back?  I was in platform stilettos and those babies aren’t made for walking.  We finished the evening losing a bit and ended it for good with pancakes at 1am.

The first 2 days don’t sound all that exciting I know but we had a great time together.  I am sure I am leaving some stuff out too but this post took me forever for some reason.

Wednesday’s goodness is to come…it has all the good stories.  Stay tuned…..