Wow how long has it been since I have done a regular post? A week? A month? Longer? All I know is that it has been for-ever. I have been going non stop for almost a month now and this morning as I was sitting outside with B I realized I am getting exhausted. Sad thing, there’s no end in sight. Here is a little bit of this and a little bit of that:
-I am getting tired.
-I totally revamped my landscaping front and back. It wore me out and made me sore. I
hate loathe landscaping. It does look nice though so one big pat on the back for me!
-After 7 years of living in this house I finally don’t have fruit on my walls in my kitchen. NO MORE FRUIT! YAY! I have been intimidated by painting my kitchen for 7 years. I hate painting and I don’t trust my skillz in that area. A couple of times I would pull a little piece of wallpaper off and tape it right back up because I wasn’t ready to take on the task. Well I told B the week before last that the following Monday would be the day to rid the kitchen of fruit. Last Monday he went in and ripped a big ole piece of wallpaper off. I almost cried. I took a deep breathe and told myself…YOU can do this! Well my friends I did! It took me a whole week to get it done and now the fruit is gone and my walls are blue and white and it looks magnificent if I do say so myself!
-Due to the colors on my kitchen walls, I had to paint my chair rails and floor molding (whatever that is called) white. This opens a whole freaking can of worms for the rest of the house. I can’t just have white chair rails, floor molding, doors and door jams in the kitchen, No the rest of the house has to match. So what will I be doing until I am 54 years old? Painting. Painting the floor molding in every room, painting the crown molding in the living room and dining room, painting doors and door jams in every room. Good lord. Everything needs a fresh coat of paint in this house so it must be done! I am on a mission.
-Now that I have the kitchen done, my next mission is the hall bathroom, my bathroom and my bedroom. All need new paint. Am I getting paid? No. Fuck that. Someone should be paying me!
-Today I have another list of a 398 things to do. I’m learning its going to be like this everyday for the rest of my life. Fuck that too. I just want to sit. Today we are celebrating W’s birthday, which is actually Thursday but we are flying to South Carolina on Thursday for a family wedding so today is the day. Dad and Susie are coming for dinner and my house is a mess. So on top of getting the last few doors painting in the kitchen hall to the garage I need to go to the store, clean my house, finish multiple loads of laundry, scrape paint off the kitchen floor, and feed them. Shit.
-I want to meet the person who is responsible for lighting this fire under my ass and poke them in the eyeball. I’m tired.
-I thought my pile of trim tape was going to come alive and eat me the other day.
-We have had a Led Zeppelin painting in our kitchen for years now and after I got done painting the kitchen I thought just maybe that it would find a new home in another room. Friday I woke up..walked into the kitchen..looked at my pretty new walls….and saw this…
-My sister and I need to schedule time to go to Indiana sometime soon and see my grandma and cousins. When am I going to fit this in? I have no flipping clue.
-My aunt found me on FB a couple of weeks ago. Her and my mom were connected at the hip, my sister and I remind me a lot of them two. She now lives in Florida and has zero relationship with her 2 kids who have kids of their own now. This pisses me off to no end, especially now that I can read how she communicates with them. It makes me want to call her out on all of her bullshit and scream “Did you not learn anything when mom passed away?” You have 2 great kids and 4 wonderful grandkids and you are choosing to not be a part of their lives. Something could happen tomorrow and you will be left not really knowing them with no attempt made on your part to do so. She has turned into a shitty human and it pisses me off. She communicates with them like they are fair weather friends. W.T.F.
-Thursday, like I said earlier, we fly to South Carolina. B’s cousin is getting married at the Charleston Harbor Resort. This is the first time the kids have flown and they are beside themselves with excitement. Me on the other hand..I’m already stressed out about it. I have never flown with kids, they have never flown. Also adding to the stress of the trip, I have no flipping clue what to wear. I don’t know if the wedding is right on the beach, is it inside the resort? Heels? Flip Flops? I need to know this kind of stuff people!! I don’t know what to pack for the kids, B has no clue what to pack for himself. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
-W’s been sick since last week, I think he is on the mend now, E is sneezing, and B feels like poopy. Bad timing for this crap all around. I swear if come Thursday I feel like crap and get this funk they have had I might slit my wrists.
I know that was all over the place but that is just a peek at the inside of my brain at the moment. It’s all over the place and running at about 125mph. Good times. One day I will rest…One day. Until then..here I go.
It’s been an eventful but yet uneventful kinda holiday weekend. Does that make sense? Not sure and don’t care, it’s my blog, I don’t have to make sense. heehee.
Friday I spent the day with my sister and we realized at dinner that even though we are 4 years and 1 day apart somehow someway we are twins that share the same brain….to the point of being freaky. Here are a couple of examples:
-Even though between the 2 of us we own 593 pairs of shoes and out of the 593 pairs of shoes we both own 2 pairs of the same shoes, Friday she walks in and we have the same shoes on. I can’t tell you how many times this happens and not only with shoes, it happens with clothes as well.
-Friday night at dinner we finished each other sentences and after a silent pause we both opened our mouths at the exact same time and the exact same words came out in the exact same order in the exact same tone…Twice. It happened again yesterday. Fah-ree-ky.
It’s so windy outside right now that I keep watching for the witch on her bike to fly by my window. Some random info for ya.
We watched Disney’s “Oceans” last night. This has been out for quite awhile and I’m always late to the movie party. This movie/documentary is hands down the BEST nature doc I have ever seen. I was in awwe the entire time and the only words B and I spoke throughout the entire movie was “wow” and “that is crazy”. If you have not seen this, you need to..right now..go now..now damnit.
Last week I bought some music for my ipod, Adele and Pistol Annies. Pistol Annies is a country girl trio put together by Miranda Lambert. I had heard a song by them awhile ago on a friend’s blog, loved it and then it left my mind. Well I came across them again on itunes and fell in love again. If you could tell the wear of a song on an ipod this album would be plum worn out and I’ve only had it since Thursday. I can’t get enough of it, every song is fantastic. Here is my fav.
It’s been a crazy weekend and week already and it’s only Tuesday. ACK! Here’s the rundown.
-Friday night B and I went to see Bill Burr at Zanie’s. This was my second time seeing him and I was stoked because he was funny as hell the first time around. Yeah, well he has lost some of his funny. He still made me laugh, don’t get me wrong here but not like the first time around. I found myself a few times sitting there not laughing and thinking “STOP F’n Yelling Dude!”. There was 12 of us that went to the show and we were all at a long table packed in like sardines. The long table next to us was full of young kids. They had to be only 21 if not there with a fake ID. They drove me fucking nuts the entire night. The dudes were all plaid shorts with button down shirts with the collars popped, the girls in their little bitty dresses and stupid headbands…that right there was enough to make me want to punch them in the back of the heads but oh no they had more to make this night fan-fucking-tastic. They are all drinking like crazy, I notice they started passing around a flask and popped collar toolbag would tell whoever he passed it to to “CHUG”. Shut the fuck up douchehole, we are at a comedy club not a freaking bar. The girls wouldn’t shut the fuck up through the entire show. I hear their annoying giggling and talking all night long. Full conversations going on through the whole thing. I wanted to punch the blonde in the back of her little fucking head. This said blonde gets up at one point to go to the restroom she comes back and sits down on popped collar dude’s lap. Of fucking course they are a couple. Her sitting on his lap put her head right in my view. I sat there for 2 minutes steaming and then reached up and tapped popped collar dude on the shoulder and told him she needs to get the hell out of my way. Of course she shoots me a look and I shoot one right back. She moves to the chair right next to him and now they want to make out. For the Love of God you fucking ninkapoops!
- as I am telling my Dad this story he reminds me that the Douchey McDouchersons that I just talked about most likely looked and talked about me as “that old woman” at the show. That’s fine with me.
-Saturday B and I kicked ass. Kicked Ass I say! We cleaned out the garage and threw a whole stake body truck full of shit away. Yes a whole freaking truck full of shit. Stuff that we thought we needed to keep, old furniture that was from my childhood that I thought I needed to keep. I finally came to terms with the decision to pitch it. Yes I could have kept it and passed it down to my kids but what the hell are they going to do with it? Most likely stick it in their garage and go through the same thinking that I went through. If we hadn’t touched it in the last year we pitched it. We went through cabinets and laundry room as well and what a difference it made. Man it feels good! Ahhh…Deep Breath…and exhale… We started at 10am and didn’t stop until almost 8pm. We were pooped.
-The reason for the clean out was to make room for my new stand up Freezer! WOO HOO! You know you’re getting old when you get excited for a freezer. Yep, that would be me! We have wanted one forever and after I started couponing we decided it must be done. My freezer is so pretty, I find myself going out and just looking at it. That right there people is just sad.
-Speaking of couponing, I have been at it for 4 weeks now and have saved almost $500 to date! That makes this momma happy happy happy! Yes I have a little stock pile started but nothing huge. Just enough that I don’t have to go buy stupid expensive crap for the next 3-4 months. I am stocked on cleaning supplies, girlie products, bathroom essentials, chicken nuggets, coffee, pop and a few other things.
A few of my store Scores:
-Boxes of cereal for $.65! (Cinnamon Toast Crunch) (Also a few other kinds for $1.25 a box)
-Betty Crocker sides for $.65 a box
-Playtex Tampons for $.99 an 18 count box!
-Resolve stain remover for clothes for $.50 a bottle
-Dial handsoap $.18 a pump
Yesterday I headed out to run my errands and had to stop by Publix. I went in with a short list of things I needed and my coupon binder. After scanning the aisles one by one with my coupons I found deals that I was expecting, so needless to say I bought more than what I had planned on but it was all stuff that I would need in the near future. I walked out of there spending $95 after saving $90! I’ll take that especially at Publix! They have some of the best deals if you do it right!
-Yesterday was another balls to the wall day. After running a shit ton of errands, the kids came home and we headed out to get E’s dance stuff that she needs for her first class tonight. We had to drive 45 minutes to the closest dancewear store. Her class is a combo class so she will be doing Ballet, Jazz and Hip Hop. So we needed a leotard, tights and ballet shoes for ballet and boy shorts, sports bra type top and jazz shoes for jazz. Thank god for Hip Hop they can wear sweats, t-shirt and tennis shoes because for the other two it cost me an arm and a leg. My daughter now needs to go get a job at the age of 6. She did dance 2 years ago with a different company and I didn’t like it and she just wasn’t ready so I pulled her from it. This time around it is with a new dance company and she is so excited about it. This dance company is amazing. Along with regular classes they also have competition teams, one of their dance teams won Nationals last year. How awesome is that? Needless to say I am stoked for her to start and I hope she really likes it and wants to stick with it and maybe eventually compete if she wants. (that might be one of my childhood dreams coming out through her but oh well, my parents would never let me be in dance when I was little and that is all I wanted to do)
So there is that. Aren’t you glad I shared all that? SO exciting, I know. :P
We are now at Wednesday here in the first week of school and the new sleep schedule, “up and at’em” early morning routine is taking its toll…on everyone. E (6) has been a big ole Crabby McCrabberson the last two days. W (8) is doing good, I think that kid could go on 0 sleep if he had to. E on the other hand is a different story.
W and I were sitting on the couch watching Animal Planet last night when Miss Grumpy Britches graced us with her attitude. This is between her and her brother.
E: Can I change the channel?
W: No I am watching this.
E: No Your NOT! (put as much sass in that as you possibly can)
W: yes I am! I’m watching this show. (he is clearly watching this show)
E: Umph..No Your Not!
*She gets up and starts walking out of the room* Meanwhile saying…
E: Well I’m going to go watch tv in your room and I’m going to watch what ever I want! How do you like that? What are you going to do about it?!?
All the while I am just sitting there trying not to laugh and I’m in awe of this attitude coming from my little girl. I do not usually allow all this attitude but I couldn’t help finding it comical because I knew all the sassiness was coming from her being so tired. She dished it out good. Now that I know she can bring the ‘tude’ I fear her. Looking into the future and hearing this attitude when she is 10, 12,15 years old scares the crap out of me!
I can tell W is becoming exhausted too but he has a secret stash of crack or something because he is always full throttle. Me, I am exhausted and becoming a little short and crabby. I do my best not to let my fuse get down to explosion but it has came close a few times. I managed not to set my alarm clock all summer long so needless to say Monday morning I wanted to take a sledgehammer to it. Last night I was ready to go to bed at 8:00 but managed to stay up till almost 10 with toothpicks holding my eyes open. I did not miss my alarm clock and all the glory that comes along with getting up early..not one bit! Give me another week and I will be back on track. For now…Coffee Don’t Fail Me!
Looking back I don’t know how I functioned without coffee for so long. I didn’t start drinking my liquid crack until I was around 28/29 years old. I took care of 2 kids in the infant stage with NO coffee! I seriously should get a metal or a trophy, hell just a little gold star sticker. Something! I don’t know how I functioned, took care of a baby or later a 1.5 year old and a baby, made decisions and was coherent. I must be super human. Yeah that’s it!
Yesterday went to shit real quick but it did have it’s good moments. The good…the kids were awesome, all day long. E even took it upon herself to clean her room to perfection and when her room was done she cleaned her brother’s. I felt her head, checked birthmarks, drew blood and sent it off to be tested and yep, this is my daughter who did this. I was shocked but very happy.
We used to have 2 Krogers here in town, one on my end of town and the other on the other end. My Kroger was wonderful, it was close, it was never crowded, the employees were so nice, they remembered me and my kids and always offered help. The other one is awful. The parking lot is so jacked up the way it is laid out that it is just one big cluster fuck of crap, everyone that works there hates their life for some reason, and all the customers are shit heads. It’s never a fun experience. I miss my Kroger so much. Yesterday I went to asshole Kroger for the first time since mine closed in May. Nothing there has changed. The aisles are so narrow that you are always in someone’s way or they are in yours because of the stand alone displays they feel necessary to place in the narrow aisles. Yesterday numerous times, as I was passing by one of these displays and someone would have to pause for me to get by I would always say “excuse me” with a smile. What would I get back? A look that would kill me over dead. I got ONE…ONE response with a smile. What is wrong with people?? Is life just that bad? I mean I hate it there too but for the love of god I’m not going to be a complete asshole to everyone. Geesh!
I had to cancel a hotel reservation that I made with a package deal through them for a family wedding that we are attending in September. I found out after the fact of making reservation through Expedia, that a block of rooms at the same hotel were reserved for wedding guests at a discounted rate but I need to go straight through the hotel to be able to get the discount. The first call went smoothly, I thought. They said the cancellation was no problem at all but they were showing an error with my card for the refund. My first thought..Interesting because there was no ‘error’ to be found when you were charging it a few weeks ago. She assured me the refund would take place and a confirmation refund receipt would be emailed to me within 5 to 10 minutes. An hour later…..Nothing. I make call number 2 to see what the hold up is with my email and come to find out that the error still exists. After being placed on hold and every 5 minutes the chick getting back on the line to let me know they are still “working” on it, it’s now almost 45 minutes later and she decides that I have been holding long enough and once again reassures me that I will get my refund and should have an email by days end. Umm…It’s 7:30am the next day and guess what..still no email. They are messing with my money. I’m not happy. So what I will be doing later is making yet another phone call. Yay me.
I received a phone call yesterday from someone and during the call I was reminded of what a shit head a certain person is. I had forgotten about a certain “thing” that this person did which is odd because of how much it effects our life. Out of sight, out of mind I guess. Once I was reminded of it I was instantly furious all over again. Grrrr. This person needs a swift kick in the butt and needs to be reminded how to be a decent human, unfortunately that is completely impossible. This person will never be a decent human being, it’s been too long. I need to do an entire venting post on that and might take up an offer that was given to me yesterday to use their blog as an anonymous venting place. :)
That about sums up the craptastic day that was Tuesday. Fuck you Tuesday and all your glory bullshit.
I am happy to report that the funk has been lifted off of my sister, or as she put it on my fb “I know I have been a turd much as of late and I promise to put down the turds and I will meet you out at dad’s” and she is back in action. We will be meeting at our dad’s later this morning for a little sun, swimming and much catching up. This is awesome because I was starting to twitch from withdrawals.
There was more to post about but I just looked at the time and I have to roll!
So today and tomorrow we are going to melt. Melt from the heat. It’s 8:30am and already it feels like it’s 93 degrees outside and the humidity is at 80%. Peachy. The heat index for the day is supposed to be anywhere from 105 to 110. Double Peachy. Tomorrow is going to be even hotter. Heat advisories are in place for our area. Good ole summer in Nashville. Last summer was ridiculous when it came to the heat and it seems this July is trying to keep last summer’s holy crap it’s f’n hot trend alive and kicking.
Needless to say the only way to survive outside is if you are near water and that is exactly what we (the kids and I) will be doing today. Its all about my sanity here. I am afraid that 2 days locked in this house with them would cause me to go insane. That’s not pretty.
So if you are looking for me today you can find me here…..
Yes this is my haven…my sanity….my love. I will be on a raft all day trying to stay cool and hoping the kids get nice and worn out.
On a side note we are leaving in exactly 14 days…2 weeks…336 hours for Vegas. Oh yes…The countdown is ON. I need one of those countdown thingys. Even though it most likely will be 867 degrees in Vegas at least it will be minus all this humidity so I will welcome that dry heat with open arms. At least we will hopefully be able to breathe.
With that said, I am off to the pool with kids in tow and will be day dreaming of becoming a millionaire in Vegas.
I don’t know where to start and this is going to be all over the place. So here’s the deal.
-For the last couple of days W has been saying his throat was hurting. He wouldn’t complain all the time, he would mention it here or there and he was acting just fine so I didn’t really pay any mind to it. (that’s excellent parenting I know) Yesterday he said it again a couple of times and then came up with his own diagnosis for it. His thought is it hurts because the little punching bag, as he calls it, in the back of his throat was stuck to one side. I looked and it was where it was supposed to be. After my shoot down of his diagnosis he went to B and had him look. B got out the flash light and looked. Next thing I hear is “Mom needs to take a look at this.” I look and think Ah Shit! W has white crap all over his tonsils. This usually means one thing…Strep. Peachy. If this is so, this means he has been walking around with Strep for 4 days now. We are off to the doctor here shortly so see if I’m right. I am currently taking bets on what the outcome is.
-Now where did the strep come from? I bet it came from Indiana.
-B and W took off to Indiana on Wednesday to stay at his parents house for the night. I get a phone call Wednesday night from B saying he has already had his fill, he had been there only a few hours. My thoughts exactly and this is why I declined the invitation to go. The next day he gets home and starts filling me in on the going ons up there. Always drama which is not drama to anyone else but us because it’s such the norm up there. Reason #598 why I’m glad we don’t live up there any longer. He goes on to tell me about how everyone talks not only around the kids but to the kids. The profanity used towards the kids is just disgusting. This comes from all..the grandparents, the parents, the aunts and uncles. Reason #3 I’m glad we don’t live up there. If we lived up there I can guarantee my kids wouldn’t be around this very often, then I would be labeled the shitty snob that won’t bring her kids around her family. Reason #587 why I’m glad we don’t live up there.
-My coffee tastes amazing this am.
-I think they should change the spelling of Wednesday to Wendsday just because after 30 years of spelling it 95% of the time I spell it wrong the first go around. My fingers want to spell it the way it sounds.
-Saturday night I went downtown with my stepmom, her friend that was in from Indiana and my sister. First let me just say that my stepmom is amazing and looks amazing. She got all dolled up in a cute little summer dress with her tan and if you were to guess her age she looked 40 not 53. She’s one hot mama! We had a ball showing her friend downtown. We did the rounds of the honky tonks and of course started with Tooties and did the loop. I think it’s safe to say that her friend had a good time seeing that she was passed out in my back seat on the way home. ha!
-I think I had a twin walking around Nashville Friday night. I had 3 people stop me Saturday night and say that they saw me Friday night. One dude even told me he saw me at the Embassy Suites. Umm…No, not unless you were peering through my window Friday night and watched me sit on the couch. Weird.
-It’s never a full night out without an argument. My sister and I are standing in the front part of Paradise Park when two toolbags walk up and first one asks if I was at the Embassy Suites the night before. We get through the whole ‘That was not me, I wasn’t there” thing and the next thing I know is my sister is arguing with one of the tools. Not real sure what the hell started it but I hear my sister calling this dude a douche to his face and telling him to go on. Then the other one wants to get involved and she is calling him a toolbag and telling him to walk away. He did the other did not, he wanted a fight. So he is telling her that she will never find anybody that can stand her, she will be single forever blah blah blah. She’s telling him to fuck off and that he is a complete douche and toolbag and needs to go back to where ever he came from because Nashville has enough idiots already to go around. I’m standing there with my beer in awwe because it was pretty funny and I love to hear my sister tell someone how it is. Then the dude started to get completely out of line with her and I put myself in between them and finally calmed it down and got him to walk away. Total buzz kill.
-I’ve had my fill of downtown for the rest of the summer. I will stay in my little town and frequent the hole in the wall instead and drink beer for $2.50 versus the $4 you pay downtown. Plus I would much rather be out with B surrounded by rednecks and bikers than be downtown with a bunch of Trendy McTrendersons and dumbasses anymore. If that is a sign of age, I’m completely fine with it.
It’s Friday and it’s time for your Friday’s Survival Sarcasm. Sunday is Father’s Day so today we will be honoring the Dad’s in our lives. We will be honoring our own Dad’s this Father’s Day, some will be honoring our husbands who might or might not be the father of our children. Dad’s or just males in general are a crucial part of making little humans. What does one need to make little humans you ask? You need some baby batter. Baby batter comes from the male aka Dad. Whether you get the baby batter straight from the dispenser located in the wiener or you go to a special place where you can purchase the baby batter, you still need it to make a little human. So here is to you baby batter producers! Thanks to someecards.com for making providing our laughs.
Rock Your Friday!!!!
I always have the urge to hit the “This post is super-awesome” button over there on the right. What if I do and it’s really not super-awesome? What if no one else thinks it’s super-awesome? That would suck.
I just found out that one of my girlfriends is pregnant via facebook. What the hell? No phone call, not even a text to tell me this type of news? Is this what it comes down to…telling huge news like this on facebook? Another reason that facebook can suck my ass. I was a little hurt by this.
I am counting down hours no make that minutes or even seconds to Saturday night. I am headed out with my Stepmom and her friend that is coming into town from Indiana. Last week and weekend was long. Long I say! B worked non stop for 6 days straight leaving the house before 6am and not returning till anywhere from 7 to 10:30. It was just me and the kids….the whole time. Mama needs a break. Mama needs a huge break. Saturday can’t get here fast enough. I need a drink.
What is sad is that I have resorted to my stepmom and her friends to go out with this time around because mine all suck. Yes people it is true. I need new friends or better yet if my friends that live in my computer or in Twitterville would just move closer to me my life would be awesome. Unfortunately I can’t make that happen. I need super human powers damnit.
I would make the best damn princess in the world.
I need people to come clean my house. Hints, the princess reference. I also need the kids to not touch anything after the house has been cleaned because it seems that I clean and you can’t tell 5 minutes later.
I resorted to watching Cartoon Network last night because there was nothing on the 400+ channels that I get. That’s sad. My son would have been proud.
B and W leave for Indiana tomorrow for a night. E and I will be here and we have decided to have a girls only slumber party. I have a feeling she will be in my bed sleeping with me punching and kicking me all night long. Good times, I can’t wait.
\]]]]]]]]]]]]w333333 <—- the cat decided she needed to say something.
I twittered something yesterday and got a kinda shitty reply back. My first thought..”well that wasn’t necessary and don’t be a twittercunt”. Twittercunts suck,they can be male or female. When you make the decision to put your 2 cents in on something that wasn’t directly said towards you and your 2 cents is shitty, negative, or assbagish you are a twittercunt and I have a flying urge to unfollow you. Especially when that was the first thing ever said to me by this follower.
Lesson of the day: Don’t be a TwitterCunt.
Hold on to your hats people…we are having a cool snap here in Tennessee. After 15 or so days of 90+ degree weather we have a little relief. By a little I mean instead of it being 95 degrees its going to be 86. Fish out the sweatshirts and long pants because it’s all kinds of chilly up in here. In honor of this cool snap I will be half assing all of the home front duties today and heading to the pool with the kids and actually enjoy being outside by the pool instead of having to be in it completely submerged. It’s a rough rough life, but hey someone’s got to do it. You’re welcome.
My daughter has now become quite the little rock star. 2 years ago for Christmas B got her a hot pink acoustic guitar and she has finally taking a liking to it. For the past week she has been in her room playing it and singing all of her favorite songs. After much begging I finally got her to agree to play for me. I snuck in my phone to record her and have some cute video. B needs to tune her guitar something fierce.
First up..E singing Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream
Now a Miranda Crosgrove song.
So yes I have living with me the next pop super star! haha! I love listening to her sing and play her guitar, it makes me smile. B is the happiest man alive listening to her, you should see his smile when she plays.