Wow how long has it been since I have done a regular post? A week? A month? Longer? All I know is that it has been for-ever. I have been going non stop for almost a month now and this morning as I was sitting outside with B I realized I am getting exhausted. Sad thing, there’s no end in sight. Here is a little bit of this and a little bit of that:
-I am getting tired.
-I totally revamped my landscaping front and back. It wore me out and made me sore. I
hate loathe landscaping. It does look nice though so one big pat on the back for me!
-After 7 years of living in this house I finally don’t have fruit on my walls in my kitchen. NO MORE FRUIT! YAY! I have been intimidated by painting my kitchen for 7 years. I hate painting and I don’t trust my skillz in that area. A couple of times I would pull a little piece of wallpaper off and tape it right back up because I wasn’t ready to take on the task. Well I told B the week before last that the following Monday would be the day to rid the kitchen of fruit. Last Monday he went in and ripped a big ole piece of wallpaper off. I almost cried. I took a deep breathe and told myself…YOU can do this! Well my friends I did! It took me a whole week to get it done and now the fruit is gone and my walls are blue and white and it looks magnificent if I do say so myself!
-Due to the colors on my kitchen walls, I had to paint my chair rails and floor molding (whatever that is called) white. This opens a whole freaking can of worms for the rest of the house. I can’t just have white chair rails, floor molding, doors and door jams in the kitchen, No the rest of the house has to match. So what will I be doing until I am 54 years old? Painting. Painting the floor molding in every room, painting the crown molding in the living room and dining room, painting doors and door jams in every room. Good lord. Everything needs a fresh coat of paint in this house so it must be done! I am on a mission.
-Now that I have the kitchen done, my next mission is the hall bathroom, my bathroom and my bedroom. All need new paint. Am I getting paid? No. Fuck that. Someone should be paying me!
-Today I have another list of a 398 things to do. I’m learning its going to be like this everyday for the rest of my life. Fuck that too. I just want to sit. Today we are celebrating W’s birthday, which is actually Thursday but we are flying to South Carolina on Thursday for a family wedding so today is the day. Dad and Susie are coming for dinner and my house is a mess. So on top of getting the last few doors painting in the kitchen hall to the garage I need to go to the store, clean my house, finish multiple loads of laundry, scrape paint off the kitchen floor, and feed them. Shit.
-I want to meet the person who is responsible for lighting this fire under my ass and poke them in the eyeball. I’m tired.
-I thought my pile of trim tape was going to come alive and eat me the other day.
-We have had a Led Zeppelin painting in our kitchen for years now and after I got done painting the kitchen I thought just maybe that it would find a new home in another room. Friday I woke up..walked into the kitchen..looked at my pretty new walls….and saw this…
-My sister and I need to schedule time to go to Indiana sometime soon and see my grandma and cousins. When am I going to fit this in? I have no flipping clue.
-My aunt found me on FB a couple of weeks ago. Her and my mom were connected at the hip, my sister and I remind me a lot of them two. She now lives in Florida and has zero relationship with her 2 kids who have kids of their own now. This pisses me off to no end, especially now that I can read how she communicates with them. It makes me want to call her out on all of her bullshit and scream “Did you not learn anything when mom passed away?” You have 2 great kids and 4 wonderful grandkids and you are choosing to not be a part of their lives. Something could happen tomorrow and you will be left not really knowing them with no attempt made on your part to do so. She has turned into a shitty human and it pisses me off. She communicates with them like they are fair weather friends. W.T.F.
-Thursday, like I said earlier, we fly to South Carolina. B’s cousin is getting married at the Charleston Harbor Resort. This is the first time the kids have flown and they are beside themselves with excitement. Me on the other hand..I’m already stressed out about it. I have never flown with kids, they have never flown. Also adding to the stress of the trip, I have no flipping clue what to wear. I don’t know if the wedding is right on the beach, is it inside the resort? Heels? Flip Flops? I need to know this kind of stuff people!! I don’t know what to pack for the kids, B has no clue what to pack for himself. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
-W’s been sick since last week, I think he is on the mend now, E is sneezing, and B feels like poopy. Bad timing for this crap all around. I swear if come Thursday I feel like crap and get this funk they have had I might slit my wrists.
I know that was all over the place but that is just a peek at the inside of my brain at the moment. It’s all over the place and running at about 125mph. Good times. One day I will rest…One day. Until then..here I go.
I have been MIA from the blogging world as of late, I have been crazy busy. I will find my head here soon and be back on it. For now I give you our weekly dose of Survival Sarcasm thanks to an email from my hubs this am. It made me laugh out loud and hopefully it will you too. So let’s get started.
There you have it!
Rock your Friday!
Wednesday was a very very sad day..it was the day we bid farewell to one of my favorite blogs. Miss Firecracker has put her blog on hold for the time being. This makes me sad because it was one of my favorites, it was the first blog I read every morning and gave me my morning boost to face the world each day. It made me laugh, it made me smile, it made me cock my head to the side and think “WTF!” Her blog was one of the first I came across when I first came to the blogging world and I loved it from the beginning. She is my…”Cosmic Twin”. Thankfully through our blogs we have become friends on the outside of the blog-o-verse, a friendship was made that I hold dear. I spent Wednesday in mourning, locked in my bedroom dressed in black with a bottle of Vodka. To the Firecraker blog..I tip my forty. Okay Okay enough of all the mushy mushy, let’s send her off in the right way! Thank you Someecards.com and bluntcard.com for always having a card saying what is on my mind.
To you Miss Firecracker..Your blog will be missed…
To all that never read Firecracker’s blog while she was here..I am sorry that a part of you will always feel empty.
Rock Your Friday!
Always Keep Rock’n!!
It’s that time again folks. It’s Friday and here is your weekly does of sarcasm and funny. A special thank you as always to someecards.com, happyplace.com, and bluntcard.com for making our Friday’s most awesome. Today’s post is a mixture of cards, notes to neighbors (from happyplace.com) and signs (again from happyplace.com). Let’s Rock Some Awesome!
There you have it.
I leave you with this…
Rock Your Friday
and as always…
This might cross the line or piss someone off but you know what? I don’t give a damn. So let’s get started.
Stereotypes and the Feeling of Entitlement
Someone close to me is a bartender downtown. The bar is not located right on Broadway or 2nd Avenue right in the heart of everything, it’s not on Eighth Avenue it is in Midtown. Tuesday night she was at work behind the bar when a group of people came in, male and female, majority being male. They start ordering drinks and shots of Grey Goose and Patron. One order came in for multiple shots of Grey Goose and a female takes care of the bill…Total Bill $56..Tip amount 0. It’s last call and she asks them if they would like a last drink. One man says give me 8 shots of Patron while a another member of the party says “just put it all on one tab and we will split it up”. She starts preparing the shots and is chilling the shots right in front of the 2 men. One of them look up and tell her to make sure they are chilled. Obviously he doesn’t see her right in front of him doing just that. She takes a deep breathe. After the shots are chilled, poured and served she tallies up the bill and puts it down in front of one of the men. Total $212. He immediately starts questioning why she put all of the drinks on his tab. She replies because I was told to. He starts arguing with her saying “Who the hell do you think you are putting them all on my tab”, “who the fuck does that”, “Why would you put them all on my tab?”. She explains to him, again, that is what she was told to do from the man sitting right next to him. The man next to him hands the guy $100 in cash. He looks at it and says thats great but why the fuck is all the drinks on my tab? By this point she is trying to keep her cool. Here is a large group of people that has been ordering top shelf drinks all night long and not tipping the entire time and now he wants to argue. She tries to explain to him once again. He has now blown up and is yelling at her. ”Fuck you, You shut your fucking mouth”, “Who the Fuck do you think you are?”. She then asks them to leave the bar and tells them she will call the cops. This just angers the man even more and he continues to yell obscenities at her. Other people in the bar are now telling him to quit talking to her that way and to leave her alone. He bows up and starts yelling at the people in the bar telling them to fuck off ect. She then tells them that she is calling the cops and they need to get out of her bar now. He starts arguing with her about that now. Finally after way too much time had passed they left. A man and a woman from the group proceed to their car parked right out front and sit there for the next 30 minutes. Were they waiting to see if the cops were actually called? Were they waiting for her to get off work? I don’t know. Another man from the group that comes into the bar often comes back in and tells her that she shouldn’t have called the cops and it was the wrong thing to do. Why? Does anyone deserve to be spoken to that way? The answer is no. She never did call the cops, it was a scare tactic to speed up the exiting process.
Rumor in the bar was the group of men that were in there causing this scene are Tennessee Titans.
With that said lets get into the stereotypes and entitlement.
This is from the bartender venting about that experience at the bar.
The Truth is… Some people are real mother fuckers. I dealt with some real assholes tonight at work, I heard that one or more of them may have been professional athletes. Well, sorry I don’t care who you are, act like an dick face and I will treat you like a dick face. Here’s an idea…Don’t be a dick, be happy that for some reason genetics worked out in your favor and got you out of the projects that should have been your destiny. How about you prove me wrong for a change; be polite, at least pretend like you learned something in college, learn how to say please and thank you and don’t start every sentence “uuhhhhhhhhh…”, T.I.P.S do you know what this means? If I were to paint it on some rims or line the letters with “bling” would you then understand? How about a rap song about what T.I.P.S. means? What IS important to you? I want to be wrong about you, but you just continue to prove all my assumptions right. Rims, jewelry, fancy cars, fancy clothes, gold teeth, “bitches and hos”, pit bulls, etc. Women that fancy you have no self respect. And you should leave the animals out of it, a pit bull is not a status symbol. All these other material items that you find so important are completely trivial, but sadly you may never understand this. You make me angry and I fume inside everytime I encounter you, yet somehow I still feel sorry for you, like maybe its not directly your fault. Whatever it may be just remember, I am smarter than you so please don’t try to argue with me.
Yes that sounds like she is stereotyping all over the place but Stereotypes don’t exist because someone was sitting around thinking them up to be an asshole, they exist because people choose to act a certain way therefore molding to the stereotype. The people that choose to act this way think they are entitled to. That is Bullshit. If you don’t want to be stereotyped then don’t live it and then wonder why you are placed in a certain category.
Do you think anyone would think the above statement is true if it wasn’t proven right on a daily basis? No. It doesn’t matter the color of your skin with this stereotype it just is what it is, white, black, purple or orange. I have been in the service industry and this person has been in the service industry for almost 15 years and it has been proven time and time again. Ordering top shelf but yet not leaving a dollar, being rude and demanding and again not leaving a tip. It’s sad that the stereotype is proven right more than wrong. That’s the thing, if you don’t want to be “stereotyped” in a certain category then prove it wrong, don’t live it. We all choose to be the people we are, if you choose to be an asshole then guess what, you will be treated like an asshole and thought of as an asshole. Period. It’s all in your power. I don’t give a shit about the color of your skin.
No one is entitled to be a dick, no one ‘owes’ anybody anything except respect. Everyone is equal..period. If you feel that it is not equal then that is on you. I am not knocking a lifestyle, dress, cars or what have you, its about being human and having respect for people around you and self respect. You want to roll on 22′s, wear the best or whatever thats great but treat others with some respect. You are not entitled to more than the person next to you. You both are equal, you both breathe the same air. It’s about RESPECT.
First thing first…
I will not be blogging like I normally do on a daily basis any longer. This decision was made over the weekend. I have let it somewhat consume me at times and I can’t allow that any longer. I still will most likely blog a couple times a week and especially when I feel the need to get something out but I will no longer be sitting down every morning and forcing my fingers to type. Instead on the mornings that I don’t post I am going to dedicate that time back to my book “Awakening the Buddha Within”. I bought this book over a year ago and read half of it and it hasn’t been touched since. I need to get back on track with myself, my family and my husband. ……Ommmm….. I will be finding the inner me again and getting back to what is most important.
I was watching the football game last night and it panned to a player on the Jets and it showed him smiling. For the next 30 minutes I only focused on people’s smiles. Have you ever realized how infectious a smile can be? When they put the camera on that player and I saw his smile I couldn’t help but to smile myself. Not because he was being funny or I thought he was good looking or any of that, it was simply because you could tell that was a genuine smile and it made me smile in return. We, as humans, do have super powers and one of those powers is a smile. You can warm a heart with a smile, you can turn a person’s day around simply with a smile, stranger or a friend. Sometimes that is all one needs in their life at that very moment to make them feel better. To me that is a super power and to me that is amazing. So next time you see a stranger walking down the street with a not so happy look give them a smile, you never know you might just turn their day around.
With those 2 things said, remember to always be true to you, take the time to be..
Take the time to find yourself, be true to yourself, make it a point to make YOU happy and the loved ones around you.
And always spread your smile.
The Sunday before last I started couponing. Don’t freak out you will not see me on Extreme Couponing or anything like that. I just want to save a little money. I tried to do this before and I allowed myself to become intimidated by it and never followed through with it. This time I am determined.
I have never been a grocery coupon user, maybe here and there but NEVER consistent. I’ve tried in the past, clipping a few and then sticking them in my purse only to forget about them and then they expire. So we can chalk it up to laziness, disorganization, and my brain flat lining in the check out line.
This time I am on a mission. A mission to save some money, to figure it out, and to become diligent on using them. When I made this decision I spent the entire day researching. If I’m going to do it, I’m going to do it right and make it effective. I am not out to save a dollar or two, I want to make a dent in my receipt. I spent the day on couponmom.com, thekrazycouponlady.com, and couponing101.com. Each site is a plethora of information and can quickly become overwhelming but I didn’t let it happen. I took it slow.
The Krazy Coupon Lady site has a beginner section that breaks down becoming a good couponer in 10 days. This site seems a bit more dedicated to the
organized hoarder extreme stock piling couponer but it still has good tips.
Couponmom site is where I spent the majority of my time. It is full of good information and tutorials. What I love about this site is the video tutorials and every week she posts sales for the each store and matches them up with coupons giving you, in black and white, item, sale price, coupon to use with the date of the paper and the source it came from, price after coupon, and percentage saved. You can go down the list and check the boxes of the items you want or need and print them out. After you print your list, you match up the coupons you need for your trip and out the door you go.
I ran up to the gas station and got 3 papers. Yes I bought 3, don’t judge me. I have found you need at least 2 papers so you have 2 of the coupons especially for the B1G1 deals. Anyway, I bought 3 papers and headed home to start clipping. My living room looked like a newspaper stand exploded. I spent the evening clipping, printing out online coupons and organizing.
Monday evening I headed out on my first couponing trip. I decided on Walgreens. Not too overwhelming right? I printed out my little list, matched up my coupons and off I went. I only had a few things that I was after, I started small. First couple of items went into the basket and I was feeling great! Next up toothpaste. Well what do you know the particular brand that I was after was wiped out. Not a tube left! WTF! Damn stock pilers! I was bummed, I didn’t let it get me too down and it was time to check out.
My total before discounts and coupons: $31 and some odd cents.
My total after: $11.85!!!
AND I got $4 in register rewards to use on my next trip!
I was stoked…I was beyond stoked! It was AWESOME! I did it!! I was so proud of myself! I will admit confession style that I did get a little high from it. I can almost *almost* understand the crazy couponing people out there that get $600 of stuff for $4.
My next trip out was the following day to try this at a grocery store. I had prepared my list the night before, loaded up the kids and off we went. The store that I was going to was still in the process of changing their sale signs over throughout the store so I panicked for a moment with the thought “oh crap, am I here on the wrong day?” I grabbed their weekly ad from the front of the store and all was good to go. Here I am walking around with my list, coupons, and the weekly ad stopping in every aisle making sure not to miss what I am after. Yes, I was that person. It was checkout time, the moment of truth. I had a whole cart full of stuff, top and bottom.
My total for the Trip: $116.00
Total Savings for the trip: $47.01!
I had one more trip to make the following day for a couple of reasons. I get my meat from this store and also they had some good sales on things THAT I NEED not want just to say I have it. Well, it was depressing. Why? Because the
hoarders stock pilers bought it all up. Empty shelves everywhere. 85% of things that were on my list were gone, just tumbleweeds blowing by on the shelves. So Sad. I finished up my shopping and headed home. I did save that day but not as much as I had planned because of the bare shelves.
That trip leads to my first couponing rant: These extreme couponers that clean out shelves need to stop. Just because you can get it for free or for $.75 doesn’t mean you need to buy every single one of them on the shelf. Leave some for the little people, that just one 2 of them. There is no damn reason…NO DAMN REASON…you need 150 tubes of toothpaste, 64 bags of chips, 100 deodorants, or 50 boxes of mac and cheese unless you are planning for the end of the world and I am pretty sure we still have a few billion years before that happens. I just wanted 2 boxes of mac and cheese, that’s it and they were gone. If you are one of these extreme couponers that have your whole basement stockpiled with absurd amounts of items and absurd amounts of one specific item you are *in my eyes* an organized hoarder. Period. If you have 6, 7, 12 kids cool, stock it up a bit more but if you are a normal family of 4 there is absolutely NO REASON to clean out a shelf. You are selfish. Period.
With that said I am not against a small stockpile..SMALL..Key word. 5 tubes of toothpaste cool, 5 12-packs of pop awesome, 5 bottles of shampoo right on etc etc. I am out to save money, have some things on the back up but that’s it. I won’t lie I don’t want to have to go buy toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner or lotion every month and yes I want to get it on sale but I will get enough to last me a few months and that’s it. I will NEVER clean out a shelf. You have my word.
This past Sunday I stayed true to my mission, purchased my papers and clipped and now all of my coupons are nicely organized in a binder. You read that right, I made a binder. Why? Because it is soo much easier. I originally had them all in a little holder that fit nicely in my purse but when I found myself rummaging through it to find something it was like a lightbulb when off…The binders make complete sense.
I also found a GREAT spreadsheet that I have started using that tracks my spending and savings. I found it on thecouponproject.com, another great website. Even if you don’t coupon this is still a great spreadsheet to use if you are trying to work on a budget. You can find the spreadsheet by clicking on the link above and then under the downloads tab by clicking on ‘savings tracker’. It is a spreadsheet that comes ready to go with all formulas in place. You can set your budget for every month and after your trip to the store you enter the info from your receipt and it keeps a running tally of the shelf cost (cost of all items purchased before any savings), store discounts, coupons amount, sales tax, your total and it gives you the percentage saved on that trip. It is so handy and easy to use or if you have trouble figuring it out she offers a video tutorial or a handy dandy user manual. I highly ,highly recommend trying it! On this website she also offers a coupon 101 and many many helpful hints and links.
So there you have it, my adventures thus far in couponing. I have to run out today and get a few things because I NEED them not because they are just on sale (that’s just an added plus) so the adventure continues.
Left off Tuesday at Wednesday late afternoon…..
We played blackjack till 6:30 and then scrambled up to our room to get ready. We were outside waiting for them by 6:50, we are fucking champs!
They roll up. It’s time to meet my girl Thy! I’m so excited!!!!! Blogging/twitter buddies coming alive in real life!! STOKED! And no they aren’t serial killers because I’m here today! Double Score. That was a joke of course. But they didn’t try to murder us, butt rape us or take us to a dark alley so they are cool. heehee.
We hop in the car and immediately start chatting it up like old friends. Mr. T takes off driving like a mad cab driver taking us through parking garages and back streets (this is where I thought maybe we would end up in a dark alley ) and we end up at Ceasar’s Palace somehow. I’m not questioning it, I’m just happy to be alive. hahahaha!
We are going to see Absinthe. We grab a beer and get in line, talking it up, sharing pictures and stories. I LOVE these people! It’s time to head inside.
Sorry the pic is so dark, it’s all Mr. T’s fault!
The show starts and 2 minutes in it’s already better than the Criss Angel show. It’s like an old traveling circus show. The humor is rude and crude and PERFECT! The acts start and they were amazing! A guy stacking chairs up to the top of the tent and climbed them, girls topless besides their pasties, 4 guys climbing each other, 2 guys balancing each other, a guy and girl on roller skates spinning each other like crazy and a tight rope act. ALL this with no net or safety harnesses and we were 10 feet from the stage! My face hurt from laughing so hard and my heart almost stopped beating a couple of times! The show was hands down the BEST!! What makes it even better than the BEST is seeing it with Thy and Mr. T!!
After the show we headed down to Fremont Street. It is like stepping back in time, the feel of the old casinos (which scared me just a bit), the lights, and the people. There was a band playing out on the street so we stopped for a beer and a listen.
You can zipline down Fremont Street, the guys were all about it and Thy jumped on board with the thinking she was going to die. haha! 4 can zipline at the same time so Thy got cocky and was all about winning. Us girls didn’t have a chance against the guys. Why? Because we are tiny little things so the guys have weight on their side. Turds. B was the first off, you could here him hooting and hollering the whole way down. Mr. T was close behind him while Thy and I came in 3rd and 4th. It was awesome! It was their first time ziplining on Fremont so it was really cool to get to do that with them.
Soon after we ziplined I turned into a poophead. All of a sudden didn’t feel so hot. It could have been the fact that I drank in the afternoon, only ate one meal that day, and the heat. I was feeling rough and lost my gusto. I felt awful because well I felt awful and was putting a damper on the evening. :( Next trip out I will make it up to Thy and Mr. T, I promise! I talked up so much we are going to party hardy and here I was feeling like poo and ready to hit the room. We walked around for a bit more and then headed back to hotel.
Even though the end of the night ended with me feeling rough we had a fabulous time all night with Thy and Mr. T. They are hands down 2 of the coolest, nicest, wonderful, most genuine people out there. I am ecstatic that we got to meet them and I am pretty sure it’s safe to say that this friendship will go on for a very very long time. It was so cool to get to know them outside of the blogosphere and twitter.
Our trip even ended with them! They offered to give us a ride to the airport the next day. They picked us up and guess who was with them? 13!!!!!!! I got to me the one and only 13! She is such a beautiful, polite and sweet thing. I almost put her in my suitcase to bring her home with me but Mr. T was watching in the rear view mirror. Damn it! The ride to the airport there was talk about them making a trip to Nashville! WOO-HOO! I am holding you guys to it!!!! There were many hugs goodbye and I was sad to leave. I could have spent a whole day with them and would be happy just hanging out talking. We will do that next time!
So to you Thy and Mr. T,
Thank you so much for taking time out to spend with us. We had a blast and can’t wait to do it again. You guys rock! Thank you for the ride to the airport and I can’t wait to see you guys again!!! I am holding you to your Nashville visit. Next time I promise NOT to drink in the afternoon and I will eat all my meals that day so I don’t turn into a poophead and ruin the fun! So until the next real life meet up I will see you in Twitterville and the blogosphere!
Love you guys!!!
ps. Mr. T – Remember tonguing is spelled T-O-N-G-U-I-N-G. heehee
Best trip to Vegas EVER!!!
Alright I left off yesterday on Tuesday night..It is now Wednesday Morning…
B decided to sleep in and I was up and at’em. I was going insane because I was ready to start the day..at the blackjack tables of course. Duh, we are in Vegas! Finally sleepy head decided to get up, we drank our crack and headed down to the casino.
It’s about 11:30 am.
We find a blackjack table with one young woman sitting at it so we join her. Little did we know that she was HAMMERED! It didn’t take too long…it took right around 1 minute or 1 hand into it, however you want to time it. A few minutes after we sat down another young guy around our age joined us, his name was Keith. So there are 4 of us at the table now…5 including our wonderful and awesome dealer Debbie. So we are all on the same page here is the run down of characters for the day…
Debbie – our dealer
Joslin – the young hammered woman
Keith – young man at the table with us
Billy – Pit Boss
Gerald – Big pit boss
Here we go.
B and I order a mimosa as does Keith, Joslin (better yet let’s just stick with hammered girl because it’s more fitting) orders whatever the hell she is hammering at noon and we begin to play. Hammered girl starts asking Keith if he is a homo and for the next 20 minutes he tries to convince her he is not. I think he almost took her to his room to plant something in her ass to prove it. Now she is keeping all of her chips in her purse so every hand we have to wait for her to dig out more chips or pick her purse up off the floor to get the chips etc. I am starting to get annoyed. Keith buys us a round of shots…Kamikazes.
Another mimosa for me…Bloody Mary for B.
Debbie was awesome. She was a sport through this whole thing and kept a smile on her face the entire time, even with hammered girl raising her voice and becoming belligerent. Billy, the pit boss, notices hammered girl raising her voice, sees the look on my face and comes over to check on things. By this point Debbie has cut off hammered girl with the cocktail waitress, unknowingly to hammered girl. She informs Billy of this and he puts ME in charge of the table. Umm..huh? Hammered girl tries to get another drink, finds out she is cut off and is not happy.
Another Mimosa for me and bloody mary for B..Yes please!
We play while trying to ignore hammered chick. Keith is awesome and fun. Ignoring her was hard because now she is talking B’s ear off. She is asking him insane questions, he says something about me being his wife and now she won’t shut up about that. ”You mean you got her?” ”well your wife is hot” “I can’t believe you scored her”. WTF? SHUT UP! Next thing I know I look over and hammered girl is hanging on B, meaning her arms were completely around him with all of her wait hanging on his shoulder. I feel my pulse rise. (if I wasn’t already annoyed with her it probably wouldn’t have fazed me) I hear B say get your fucking hands off of me. I make eye contact with her and tell her “Get your fucking hands off of my husband…NOW!” Yep stirring up trouble on the blackjack table. Good Lord. Of course she starts bawling. For the love of all things hammered this chick wouldn’t stop crying! ”I’m so sorry” “if it was my husband I would be pissed too” blah blah blah. First off why are you hammered at noon? and where the fuck are your friends? So we spend the next 5 minutes trying to get her to stop crying. Meanwhile Debbie has called the Big Pit Boss Gerald. He was awesome. He was this huge black guy with a very intimidating ‘take no shit’ look. He just stood at the corner of our table and watched her. I was cracking up.
Keith gets us another round of shots…Washington Apples. It’s 1:00.
Keith decides he wants to buy a chick at another table a drink and makes the mistake of letting hammered girl know this. She gets up to go talk to this chick to see if she is single. Gerald, the big pit boss, stops her mid way next thing we know she is standing there crying…again.
Hammered girl makes it back to the table, unfortunately. Keith at this point has had enough of her too. Something gets said and the next thing I hear is from Keith to Hammered girl “Can you please shut the fuck up?, you are ruining my table karma! Just shut up or leave”. I am about to bust out laughing and I want to high five our new found friend. B and I decide we need to eat and coat our bellies because if we keep up at this pace we will be passed out in our room by 3. We get up from the table and watch hammered girl literally cry to Keith and apologize. When we finally see her walk away we head to eat.
We stop by the room after lunch and this is what happened. Truth be told this is what happened almost every time we went to the room.
Back down to the tables we went after B’s playtime with the pillow. Debbie’s table was open with only Keith sitting there. Score. We sit back down and he immediately buys us another round of shots…Straight up Makers Mark. I passed because I am not woman enough for that shot. I ordered a beer. Keith has obviously has been going strong since we left because he is 3 sheets to the wind by now. It’s 3:30. We continue to play and have a great time, until Keith decides we all need another round of shots. Good lord. This time the shots were Deck Farts. They tasted just like their name but I drank it anyway because I’m cool like that.
Debbie this entire time was awesome. She cut up with us the entire time and was very tolerant of all bullshit at the table throughout the day. I heart Debbie.
Mind you Wednesday afternoon we were more buzzed than we were our entire trip. Maturity? Age? Free shots? I don’t know. You pick and I’ll go with it.
I started to write about that and realized how long it was going to make this post so now you must wait until tomorrow!
Oh the Suspense! ….When Blogging friends come to life!!!!!