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Wrecks, Purple Goop, & Stupid Girls
I have a couple of different things to blog about this am so this will be a bit all over the place. What’s new right? Welcome to my brain.
Yesterday B was in a wreck on his way home from work on 24. He is fine thank goodness but I wish I could say the same for the Mercedes. It was injured. Traffic had just started moving again and he was up to around 20mph and the chick in front of him slammed on her breaks. His phone had just alerted him for a text or something so he had glanced down at it and BAM right in her ass. The grill was tore up along with the headlights and it had some leakage going on. It had to be towed. I am just glad B is ok. B is Pissed to say the least.
I went to the dentist yesterday to get my permanent crown on..or so I thought. I get there with the thinking that they are going to just pop the temporary off and pop the permanent on. Oh how I was fooled! OF COURSE the temp didn’t want to come off. She pried at it with the little picky thing and it wouldn’t budge. She then proceeded to get the plier thingy tool out and started wiggling it back and forth. Umm, yeah that hurt. She kept asking if I wanted Novocaine and I refused because I am so tired of my mouth and face being numb. It just ruins the day. I kept telling myself I can do this, I have natural childbirth damnit! I’m tough. Well the pliers didn’t work so she had to drill the damn thing off. After that was done she had to drill the temp filling out from the root canal and put a new one in. I am overwhelmed with joy and a sweaty mess. The dentist finally comes in and there is more drilling and fun. Finally all that is done and I’m told that since I had the root canal in between the temp crown and now my permanent crown won’t fit right so she needs to do more molds to be sent off to make a new permanent crown. Fucking joy. She puts the big purple goop in my mouth on it’s holder which of course is too BIG for my mouth because my mouth is so small. She sticks it in there and tells me to bite down. I can’t get my back teeth all the way together because the god damn thing is too big. She said it will be fine. So I sit there with this goopy shit in my mouth for minutes. Immediately I have saliva pouring from my mouth and she hands me a wad of kleenex, gee thanks. Next thing I know is I am trying to swallow and a part of the purple goop has found the back of my throat. With every attempt to swallow it inches down my throat, I am now sitting there gagging and salivating like a freaking rabid dog. Gorgeous visual I know. She comes in and I tell her that a part is going down my throat and she says “just one more minute”. WHAT! I am about to vomit in your chair (I’m literally heaving in the chair) and you want me to hold it in my mouth for another minute! I am seriously on the verge of vomiting now due to all the gagging from the purple shit that is now half way down my throat. She finally takes it out and with one immediate swallow off the goop went. I had her look down my throat to see if she could see it and it was gone. Yes I swallowed a piece of the purple molding goop. I could taste it for the next 3 hours and felt it the rest of the day making it’s way down into my body. Fucking Yippee. I am going to shit purple goop one day and meanwhile before that happens maybe it will make a nice mold of my intestines. I will keep you all posted on that. You’re welcome. So I left there with another temporary crown and have to go back in 3 weeks now for the permanent one. I’m ecstatic.
I have a confession, this is just between me and you so don’t blab it ok? I watch Teen Mom. I know, I know. Don’t judge me too hard. I vowed never to watch this damn show and on a day that I needed mindless TV I turned it on and now I’m hooked. Hooked to the point that I DVR’d it Tuesday. I am hanging my head in shame. Anyway to my point. I caught up on Tuesday’s episode yesterday afternoon and I found myself pissed off. There’s a teen mom on the show that decided to give her daughter up for adoption. She has an “open adoption” with the adopting parents. She goes off on a retreat for moms that gave up their child for adoption on this episode. As the moms sit around telling their stories, a woman shares her’s where she had an open adoption and then when her child turned 4 the adopting parents decided to make it closed. This puts the chick on the show in a panic. Her and another chick go out to talk and the other chick, who also put her child up for adoption, says that she IS a mom regardless and they both are crying yadda yadda yadda. Now here’s my beef, but before I get into my beef I will say this * I completely understand why some choose to put a child up for adoption, I get it, I really really do. Timing, circumstances, situations, etc. In most cases it’s for the child’s benefit and I do believe it is the right decision*. Back to my beef. These girls CHOSE to put their child up for adoption therefore in my eyes you forfeit rights to that child. Rights as in parenting rights, visits and being a part of that child’s life. If you choose to do an “Open Adoption” all you are doing to that child is mind fucking it. I totally understand why, the woman I spoke about before, adoption went closed when the child turned 4. After that you are doing nothing but confusing the living daylights out of that child because they cannot understand who the fuck you are and why you are just popping up here and there. I think it is being completely selfish to put a child through that. YOU chose to put your child up for adoption, YOU chose for someone else to be this child’s parents, YOU CHOSE this. Therefore you have no right to intervene and be a part of this child’s life. If the adopting parents choose to send you photos or keep you updated, fine, but you cannot expect to just pop in and out of this child’s life the whole time and expect a child to understand who the hell you are. In my eyes, that would cause more resentment further down the road. It is a different story when they become old enough to wrap their head around it and they are seeking you. For now YOU chose to put your child up and not raise it therefore you FORFEIT everything. Just my 2 cents.
Ok that is enough randomness for one day.
New School Sleep Schedule = Grumpy Britches
We are now at Wednesday here in the first week of school and the new sleep schedule, “up and at’em” early morning routine is taking its toll…on everyone. E (6) has been a big ole Crabby McCrabberson the last two days. W (8) is doing good, I think that kid could go on 0 sleep if he had to. E on the other hand is a different story.
W and I were sitting on the couch watching Animal Planet last night when Miss Grumpy Britches graced us with her attitude. This is between her and her brother.
E: Can I change the channel?
W: No I am watching this.
E: No Your NOT! (put as much sass in that as you possibly can)
W: yes I am! I’m watching this show. (he is clearly watching this show)
E: Umph..No Your Not!
*She gets up and starts walking out of the room* Meanwhile saying…
E: Well I’m going to go watch tv in your room and I’m going to watch what ever I want! How do you like that? What are you going to do about it?!?
All the while I am just sitting there trying not to laugh and I’m in awe of this attitude coming from my little girl. I do not usually allow all this attitude but I couldn’t help finding it comical because I knew all the sassiness was coming from her being so tired. She dished it out good. Now that I know she can bring the ‘tude’ I fear her. Looking into the future and hearing this attitude when she is 10, 12,15 years old scares the crap out of me!
I can tell W is becoming exhausted too but he has a secret stash of crack or something because he is always full throttle. Me, I am exhausted and becoming a little short and crabby. I do my best not to let my fuse get down to explosion but it has came close a few times. I managed not to set my alarm clock all summer long so needless to say Monday morning I wanted to take a sledgehammer to it. Last night I was ready to go to bed at 8:00 but managed to stay up till almost 10 with toothpicks holding my eyes open. I did not miss my alarm clock and all the glory that comes along with getting up early..not one bit! Give me another week and I will be back on track. For now…Coffee Don’t Fail Me!
Looking back I don’t know how I functioned without coffee for so long. I didn’t start drinking my liquid crack until I was around 28/29 years old. I took care of 2 kids in the infant stage with NO coffee! I seriously should get a metal or a trophy, hell just a little gold star sticker. Something! I don’t know how I functioned, took care of a baby or later a 1.5 year old and a baby, made decisions and was coherent. I must be super human. Yeah that’s it!
Boom Shakalaka!
Yesterday was poopy
Yesterday went to shit real quick but it did have it’s good moments. The good…the kids were awesome, all day long. E even took it upon herself to clean her room to perfection and when her room was done she cleaned her brother’s. I felt her head, checked birthmarks, drew blood and sent it off to be tested and yep, this is my daughter who did this. I was shocked but very happy.
The bad…
We used to have 2 Krogers here in town, one on my end of town and the other on the other end. My Kroger was wonderful, it was close, it was never crowded, the employees were so nice, they remembered me and my kids and always offered help. The other one is awful. The parking lot is so jacked up the way it is laid out that it is just one big cluster fuck of crap, everyone that works there hates their life for some reason, and all the customers are shit heads. It’s never a fun experience. I miss my Kroger so much. Yesterday I went to asshole Kroger for the first time since mine closed in May. Nothing there has changed. The aisles are so narrow that you are always in someone’s way or they are in yours because of the stand alone displays they feel necessary to place in the narrow aisles. Yesterday numerous times, as I was passing by one of these displays and someone would have to pause for me to get by I would always say “excuse me” with a smile. What would I get back? A look that would kill me over dead. I got ONE…ONE response with a smile. What is wrong with people?? Is life just that bad? I mean I hate it there too but for the love of god I’m not going to be a complete asshole to everyone. Geesh!
I had to cancel a hotel reservation that I made with a package deal through them for a family wedding that we are attending in September. I found out after the fact of making reservation through Expedia, that a block of rooms at the same hotel were reserved for wedding guests at a discounted rate but I need to go straight through the hotel to be able to get the discount. The first call went smoothly, I thought. They said the cancellation was no problem at all but they were showing an error with my card for the refund. My first thought..Interesting because there was no ‘error’ to be found when you were charging it a few weeks ago. She assured me the refund would take place and a confirmation refund receipt would be emailed to me within 5 to 10 minutes. An hour later…..Nothing. I make call number 2 to see what the hold up is with my email and come to find out that the error still exists. After being placed on hold and every 5 minutes the chick getting back on the line to let me know they are still “working” on it, it’s now almost 45 minutes later and she decides that I have been holding long enough and once again reassures me that I will get my refund and should have an email by days end. Umm…It’s 7:30am the next day and guess what..still no email. They are messing with my money. I’m not happy. So what I will be doing later is making yet another phone call. Yay me.
I received a phone call yesterday from someone and during the call I was reminded of what a shit head a certain person is. I had forgotten about a certain “thing” that this person did which is odd because of how much it effects our life. Out of sight, out of mind I guess. Once I was reminded of it I was instantly furious all over again. Grrrr. This person needs a swift kick in the butt and needs to be reminded how to be a decent human, unfortunately that is completely impossible. This person will never be a decent human being, it’s been too long. I need to do an entire venting post on that and might take up an offer that was given to me yesterday to use their blog as an anonymous venting place. :)
That about sums up the craptastic day that was Tuesday. Fuck you Tuesday and all your glory bullshit.
I am happy to report that the funk has been lifted off of my sister, or as she put it on my fb “I know I have been a turd much as of late and I promise to put down the turds and I will meet you out at dad’s” and she is back in action. We will be meeting at our dad’s later this morning for a little sun, swimming and much catching up. This is awesome because I was starting to twitch from withdrawals.
There was more to post about but I just looked at the time and I have to roll!
A Big Bag of Douche
I don’t know where to start and this is going to be all over the place. So here’s the deal.
-For the last couple of days W has been saying his throat was hurting. He wouldn’t complain all the time, he would mention it here or there and he was acting just fine so I didn’t really pay any mind to it. (that’s excellent parenting I know) Yesterday he said it again a couple of times and then came up with his own diagnosis for it. His thought is it hurts because the little punching bag, as he calls it, in the back of his throat was stuck to one side. I looked and it was where it was supposed to be. After my shoot down of his diagnosis he went to B and had him look. B got out the flash light and looked. Next thing I hear is “Mom needs to take a look at this.” I look and think Ah Shit! W has white crap all over his tonsils. This usually means one thing…Strep. Peachy. If this is so, this means he has been walking around with Strep for 4 days now. We are off to the doctor here shortly so see if I’m right. I am currently taking bets on what the outcome is.
-Now where did the strep come from? I bet it came from Indiana.
-B and W took off to Indiana on Wednesday to stay at his parents house for the night. I get a phone call Wednesday night from B saying he has already had his fill, he had been there only a few hours. My thoughts exactly and this is why I declined the invitation to go. The next day he gets home and starts filling me in on the going ons up there. Always drama which is not drama to anyone else but us because it’s such the norm up there. Reason #598 why I’m glad we don’t live up there any longer. He goes on to tell me about how everyone talks not only around the kids but to the kids. The profanity used towards the kids is just disgusting. This comes from all..the grandparents, the parents, the aunts and uncles. Reason #3 I’m glad we don’t live up there. If we lived up there I can guarantee my kids wouldn’t be around this very often, then I would be labeled the shitty snob that won’t bring her kids around her family. Reason #587 why I’m glad we don’t live up there.
-My coffee tastes amazing this am.
-I think they should change the spelling of Wednesday to Wendsday just because after 30 years of spelling it 95% of the time I spell it wrong the first go around. My fingers want to spell it the way it sounds.
-Saturday night I went downtown with my stepmom, her friend that was in from Indiana and my sister. First let me just say that my stepmom is amazing and looks amazing. She got all dolled up in a cute little summer dress with her tan and if you were to guess her age she looked 40 not 53. She’s one hot mama! We had a ball showing her friend downtown. We did the rounds of the honky tonks and of course started with Tooties and did the loop. I think it’s safe to say that her friend had a good time seeing that she was passed out in my back seat on the way home. ha!
-I think I had a twin walking around Nashville Friday night. I had 3 people stop me Saturday night and say that they saw me Friday night. One dude even told me he saw me at the Embassy Suites. Umm…No, not unless you were peering through my window Friday night and watched me sit on the couch. Weird.
-It’s never a full night out without an argument. My sister and I are standing in the front part of Paradise Park when two toolbags walk up and first one asks if I was at the Embassy Suites the night before. We get through the whole ‘That was not me, I wasn’t there” thing and the next thing I know is my sister is arguing with one of the tools. Not real sure what the hell started it but I hear my sister calling this dude a douche to his face and telling him to go on. Then the other one wants to get involved and she is calling him a toolbag and telling him to walk away. He did the other did not, he wanted a fight. So he is telling her that she will never find anybody that can stand her, she will be single forever blah blah blah. She’s telling him to fuck off and that he is a complete douche and toolbag and needs to go back to where ever he came from because Nashville has enough idiots already to go around. I’m standing there with my beer in awwe because it was pretty funny and I love to hear my sister tell someone how it is. Then the dude started to get completely out of line with her and I put myself in between them and finally calmed it down and got him to walk away. Total buzz kill.
-I’ve had my fill of downtown for the rest of the summer. I will stay in my little town and frequent the hole in the wall instead and drink beer for $2.50 versus the $4 you pay downtown. Plus I would much rather be out with B surrounded by rednecks and bikers than be downtown with a bunch of Trendy McTrendersons and dumbasses anymore. If that is a sign of age, I’m completely fine with it.
Friday’s Survival Sarcasm!
It’s time people for Friday’s Survival Sarcasm! After the morning I had I need it! I awoke to my daughter staring at me at 6am whispering “Mom”. I open my eyes and she says to me “Devo (the dog) puked and pooped all over the living room”. Fucking peachy. Good flipp’n morning to me, to me, to me! Thanks to someecards.com and bluntcards.com.
Let’s do this…
I'm going to train my kids to fetch me a beer this summer
Just say'n
In other words...
I thought it was ibs, but nope it's just glamour & it sparkles
It calls everyday..I always answer.
As always…
Rock your Friday!
Kids, You Got to Love them, Other People’s Kids I want to Beat.
I have a shit ton of chores to get done today. A shit ton I say. My house has been neglected this week and now it is time to play catch up with it. It’s all crap, I need a maid. My laundry basket has given birth to so many dirty clothes it’s disturbing. It’s a whore.
I hate when you wake up to the smell of death. I think my garbage can murdered something and then hid it way down in it’s depths, the corpse is now in the decay stage and it smells. Groddy. Makes me want to vomit.
The cicadas are now to the point of being creepy. There are parts of my fence that are just covered with them. Plus my dog thinks it’s cool to bring the larva casings in the house and last night he brought in two and left them on the living room floor for us. I went to pick them up and throw them away and realized they had not hatched yet. Groddy. I don’t want them in my house and I need to close up the doggy door.
Speaking of Cicadas..I went on a field trip with W(8) yesterday, we walked from his school up to the historic Sam Davis Home. On the walk the kids went nuts over all of the cicadas so I proceeded to pick one up..Pull off it’s front legs and made the head pop off. I was the coolest mom on the trip!
Every time I go to W’s classroom there is this girl that gets up from her seat and comes over to me and starts talking my ear off. W has always told me she drives him crazy and she is “so annoying” but I always have her the benefit of the doubt . Well yesterday I wanted to shove something in her mouth to gag her. Good God! I started out with just W and 2 other boys in my group, a little girl who lives up the street talked the teacher into letter her join our group and I was fine with that, she is a sweetie. Well the “I can’t shut the F up” little girl weaseled her way into my group later in the day. Peachy. Come lunch time I had met my breaking point. She said something to me and I corrected her so she slapped me on the arm. That was it for me. I looked at her and told her never to do that again. She smiled and giggled and asked why. Because you don’t fucking touch me you little fucking shit and if you touch me again I am going to go ape shit on your ass, now shut the fuck up and leave me alone! I didn’t say that of course but it’s exactly what I was thinking. I was not nice to her the rest of the day. She never got the point. Idiot child.
E(6) was in the kitchen yesterday and yelled in at me and said this…and I quote: ”It was FARKING cold in my classroom today” I asked her to repeat that a few times to make sure I heard her correctly and yes that is exactly what she was saying “farking”. Every time she repeated it I silently chuckled to myself. She cracks me up.
My coffee tastes like ass this morning.
When checking my email yesterday afternoon I received an email from itunes, it was a receipt. I was puzzled by this because I had not purchased anything lately. I opened it up and there was a list of things purchased, all for a game that my son plays. My blood started to boil and I called him outside with me immediately. I asked him about it and his response was “I figured out your password and I will give you $20″. It’s not about the money you little turd! I sent him inside to clean his room and told him his father and I will discuss a punishment and he knew I was pissed, he wouldn’t come out of his room. About an hour later I called him out of his room and told him he owes me an apology. I proceeded to talk very calmly to him about trust and being sneaky. I explained how trust is a huge part of a relationship, how he gets a lot of freedom with me because of the trust I have for him so if that goes to the way side with actions like this, the trust won’t be there and I will have to be up his ass all the time and he won’t be able to do the things he gets to do. I also explained that if he starts being sneaky his life will become hell, I don’t do sneaky. He began to cry, I had gotten through to his brain. When I can talk to him and make him cry I know I have hit a chord with him..sweet victory. I told him to give me a hug and he squeezed me so tight that I knew he understood every word and this was his big apology. The password has been changed and he is grounded from my ipod, his DS and all video games for awhile.
Last night I was flipping from American Idol to Palladia during commercials which was playing a Pussycat Dolls concert. My son watches for a moment and says “Mom you look like one of the Pussycat Dolls, the one with the short hair”. I believe he was totally kissing my ass. Nice try kid, you are still in trouble but you made my day. I love that kid.
Monday at W’s soccer practice was interesting. The coach was out of town so another mom and I coached practice. The other mom has 3 kids and they are all hellions. They are cute and can be sweet but when you get right down to it they are little shits. As we were on the field with the team B was left sitting with E and this mom’s 2 other kids who are 4 and 5. The 5 year old is a little girl and her and E play together during practices and games. She is a little rough with E and we have had to get on her before. Well B met his breaking point with them Monday. I look over and her daughter is pushing on E so B tells her to leave her alone. The little girl walks over to B and slaps him on his leg, I heard the slap. He raised his voice with her and told her to get in her chair and never to do that again. The mom walked over and disciplined her and then walks to me and says “Is B really made at her?” Are you fucking kidding me? Your daughter just slapped a grown man yes he is pissed at her! Control your fucking kids! So here lies another great example of how parents don’t have control of their kids. If my kids ever acted remotely like hers they wouldn’t be aloud out of the house. Later in the practice her oldest son who is on the team walked up to me and drug the bottom of his cleats down my shin. I told him we don’t do that and he did it Again! I raised my voice just a level and told him that was completely unacceptable. I’m pretty sure she heard me because she immediately stopped practice and said we were done for the night. We still had 30 minutes left of practice. Hopefully she took her kids home to rip them a new ass but I’m pretty sure she just wanted her kids away from B and I. I am sorry but I don’t give a fuck who you are or who your kids are, if they are mean or violent to my kids or to me they are getting called out on it from me or B. We don’t play that game and if it pisses you off, sorry get the fuck over it. Learn how to control your kids and make it your mission to make them acceptable in social situations. If you don’t ….You FAIL! I fucking can’t stand kids that are nothing but assholes. It pisses me off.
On Some Random Notes…
I haven’t had a random post for awhile so here we go.
-My husband thoroughly cracks me up and this is one reason why I love this man so damn much. I wish I could share a story on here regarding a random moment last evening with him but it is a bit inappropriate for here. Let’s just say it involved him making up an inappropriate song and wanting to play it for my family just to see their reactions.
-I love twitter. I heart twitter. Twitter makes me twitterpated. Now I sound like I need therapy but it’s true. The group of us on there brightens my day every day and makes me laugh. If I were in a crowded silent room and pulled up my twitter I can guarantee that at one point or another I would blurt out in laughter and get many looks, yes my twitter time line is just that funny thanks to the many that I follow and have come to know very well. Thank you to the ladies and Gents that make me smile and laugh hysterically day in and day out.
-Yesterday I pulled up facebook on my phone..I was bored. There at the top of my news feed was a picture of one of my friends on there. There for all to see was a picture of her kneeled on her bed with nothing on but lacy panties. With one hand she was holding her phone to take the pic and the other was down in her panties. I was in shock. 
No not because of the picture itself because to each their own but because she has 2,000+ friends on there and she uses her page to promote her photography business, post shoots that she has done and correspond with potential customers along with using it for personal as well. It was in an album with furniture that she was selling and I my initial thought was “OH NO!” I knew this had to be an accident because it is totally out of the norm for her to post something like this. Someone had posted on her wall asking if she realized she had posted that and if it was on purpose and just as I suspected it was not done on purpose. Her son or nephew or whatever this kid is to her got a hold of her phone and did it. She deleted the photo and immediately put up a post saying that she was so sorry to all that had seen it. Of course she had a million comments on that post and she had commented back to someone that she is totally comfortable with her body so that made it a bit easier. Good for her! She is built like a brick shit house so I am sure the majority of her friends that seen it wasn’t bothered by it and most likely enjoyed it, I just wonder how many times it was copied to hard drives in the 10 minutes it was up. haha! 
She had to of been mortified but she handled it calmly and classy. Go Belles!
-I need a million dollars. Hell a cool 500k would work just fine. So if you can make that happen that would be great. Thank you in advance. 
-Next week the temps will be in the upper 80′s and it’s about freaking time. Hopefully Mother Nature is done shitting on us and freezing us out. Her little joke of making it warm, then cold, then storms, then flooding, then more warm and then more cold is getting really freaking old. If that crappy nonsense happens again I am hunting her down and punching her the boobies and hooha. So if you need me next week I will be at my dad’s by the pool, kidless, eating bon bons and being fanned by Fabio. Not really, I will just be by the pool by myself tanning this white ass body of mine in a bathing suit that I have no business being in until I am tan. It’s a viscous cycle. Thank god the pool is fenced in and no one can see me because there is a chance I would scare the children and neighbors. I am currently rocking a wonderful farmer tan that needs to be evened out immediately. Mission Sun Beam will be in full effect.
-My dog is a lazy piece of poo. The little shit goes back to bed everyday after the kids leave for school for 3 hours..IN MY BED. I catch myself wanting to channel my inner “oh shit I’m my mother” and pull back the covers and yell “you can’t sleep away your whole life!” Then teach him to vacuum and dust to earn his keep.
-School is out in 3 weeks for the summer. As I am super excited to not hear that damn Beeping in my ear 5 mornings a week but this also means that my kids will be home with me every day for 2 1/2 months. I love them, I do but there is a good chance that mama might become an alcoholic. I worry every summer that I will become the mom hiding Vodka bottles all over the house sneaking silent chug-a-lugs. B and the kids will wonder why come dinner time I am hammered and everyone gets spaghetti-o’s for dinner. If this starts happening the house needs to be searched and I need to placed in a 12 step.
-That last random note is just a joke of course. I am looking forward to the summer with the kids, we have many fun things to do. I am sure it will fly by and I will be sad to see them go back to school. <——-that was a good one wasn’t it! I crack myself up….now where’s my Vodka???
When Mother Nature Vomits on You.
So call me a Drama Queen if you wish, I am fine with that today. I have a crown and everything to rock the look and part.
I’m pretty sure everyone is aware of the weather that has been going on the last 2 days unless you live under a rock. If you do live under a rock, stay there..it’s just freaking crazy out there.
Let me start off with I do NOT like tornadoes, I panic, I pace. I am from Indiana and grew up with tornado warnings, so this is not new to me. Here is the difference of dealing with them up there and here in Tennessee. There you have basements, here you do not. There – a tornado warning comes and I would panic and pace but it was different because you knew you had a basement to hunker down in, in other words you knew you would be safe. Here – a warning comes and I turn every tv on, panic, and pace from room to room..window to window knowing that the only place I have to go is a freaking closet. That my friends is not reassuring…That just sucks my toe and I don’t like having that done to my toes because it’s gross.
We heard for the past week that the weather was going to get bad here last night and today, you never know if this is true or not till it is time. Last time we were supposed to get severe weather nothing really happened so you don’t know whether to let it get to you or not. Last night I had the Weather Channel on and the senior meteorologist mapped out the area of the severe weather risk level. It usually consists of 2 colors…Orange for thunderstorms and Red for the greatest chance of severe weather.
Well his map looked like this…
You see that? There’s freaking WHITE on there! You know what he says as he is talking about it? No? Let me fill you in. He says “I have NEVER used white on the map before now”. You read that right, they broke out with a whole other color for this shit. Can we say holy freaking crap? There’s not even white in the legend telling you what it means! I’ll tell you what it means..it will read like this. White=You’re fucked..You’re just screwed. Also they have this little system that gives your chance of tornadoes on a scale of 1-10. Here in middle Tennessee we are at an 8! That means we have an 80% chance of tornadoes people.
After seeing that panic started setting in. When the first round made it just past Memphis last night the news started breaking in during commercials updating us with the storm. There were sheer markers everywhere on the radar. Like 20+ just overlapping each other. There was every single color in the rainbow on there. I have never seen storms like this before. They zoom in on two storms headed towards Nashville, both cells have 100mph winds. Let’s just say my panic went into overdrive.
I have never in my almost 34 years felt panic and fear like I did last night. I was trembling…I don’t get like that. My hands were shaking so bad that I couldn’t control them. Yes I just confessed that I was a flipp’n hot mess last night. Then I got a phone call from my dad. My dad doesn’t panic, he keeps his cool. I could hear something different in his voice, it was worry. He was talking so softly and come to find out it was because he was trying to with hold info from me. His buddy who is in with the weather people had told him that we were at a 9 out of 10 on the scale of tornadoes. He was told that 90% of the people in Tennessee will be within 50 miles of a tornado today. Freaking peachy. I felt and still feel like a sitting duck.
I am happy to report that the storms that came through last night stayed just west of where I am but close enough that I could see the lightening and hear the thunder. I slept on the couch with the tv on to stay updated. Then at 5:00 this morning I looked at the tv and here it comes. By 5:30am we were under a warning. Rise and freaking shine! A tornado came down about 10 miles from my house. Nothing like starting your day off like that! To top that off I had to make the decision of to send the kids to school or do I keep them home. I decided to send them because they are almost safer in the school building than here. Well it was time for the bus to come and it didn’t show so I took it as a sign to keep them home. 45 minutes later it showed and I sent them. Now I don’t know if that is was the right decision to be made. The next round is set to hit around lunch time and I might go pick them up before it gets here. Hell I don’t know what to do!
To top all that off my sister flew out this morning for Key West in the midst of the 5:00am storm. Her flight left at 5:30. She texted me when she landed in Atlanta for her connection and said it was a very bad flight. The turbulence was so bad that she hit her head on the window. On top of everything else I was worrying about her so when that text came in and I knew she was safe I had a sigh of relief. She is now on her connecting flight and headed to bright and sunny Key West.
Now with the kids at school, the sun shining (which according to the news is not a good thing right now it just adds to recipe), B at work I am going to relax for a moment and wait for the next round of storms to get here. Hopefully the forecasted rain estimates will be off a bit because if they are right we might flood…again. This sucks for a couple of reasons. The first being obvious..flood=bad, second I won’t see B for days. He works for a pump and power company and it thrives on natural disasters. Last year when the flood happened I didn’t see him for weeks. His phone started blowing up last night before he went to bed. Today is going to be a very a long day for him and most likely the rest of the week.
The radar looked and still looks like Mother Nature has been on a drinking binge for awhile now and vomited all of her demon of a hangover on us. Great. I hope she learned a lesson and gets help from a 12 step because she has a problem.
A Bouncy Birthday!
Last Thursday was my sweet baby girl’s 6th Birthday party. She was so excited to have her birthday party at Bounce U, which is a local bouncy place with 2 different rooms full of slides, bouncers, and all kinds of “wear your kids out” goodies. She had a blast and when I was putting her to bed that night she grabbed my face and looked me in the eyes and said “This was the best birthday ever, I love you Mommy.” My heart melted as I wiped a tear from my eye. That girl holds my heart. Here are a few photos from the festivities.
It was a good day and it’s safe to say they were all Pooped. Mission accomplished!
