It’s hard to watch someone you care about get sick, to wither away down to nothing, to try to stay strong for everyone around them, but yet get tired of trying. It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle with watching this happen to someone close to them. You watch their face change from day to day with the ever changing news from good to bad to good to bad.
What I am talking about is my sister and her best friend’s struggle with Ovarian Cancer, we will call her BC. When I see my sister stressed out from worry, I feel it too. I worry about her and what is going through her mind…the stress, the worry, the concern, the sadness, the empty feeling that is growing in her heart, the hope that she has and the want for that to stay strong. BC was my sister’s best friend since the day she moved here. BC has become part of our family, she has become like a second sister.
BC is in an awful battle with ovarian cancer but is also struggling with staying strong…putting up the fight that it takes to make it through. BC has had a rough road as of late with multiple hospital stays, the last two lasting 2-3 weeks each. She is struggling with her weight, she is down to 85 pounds. She is struggling with the Chemo treatments, keeping food in her system, hydration etc. She no longer wants to get out of bed for a short walk around her apartment. Yesterday my sister got a phone call from BC saying she hasn’t been feeling well and she has decided to go to the doctor to see what is going on again. She called back after going to the doctor to tell my sister that she is being admitted once again to the hospital and asked her to come sit with her while her boyfriend and sister go home to pack for the stay. We were in a store finishing up some shopping with this call came in. On the way home my sister received another call from a friend explaining the truth behind the hospital admittance. I hear my sister in disbelief in the backseat, my heart dropped, my mind went to the worst news, I drove in silence waiting for the call to end to be updated. We arrive home and she hangs up with her friend and she is livid. My stepmom and I ask what is going on and brace ourselves for bad news. The truth was that BC had begged to be admitted to the hospital. My sister is shaking with anger, BC has given up and wants to be in the hospital. BC is surrounded by people that love her, that are asking her to stay strong and fight. BC has fought, she has fought long and hard but she is becoming tired. That is to be expected.
The question is when as a friend do you cross that line and get in her face and let her know that she must not give up..she must keep fighting. Is it completely out of line to tell BC to quit being selfish and fight not only for herself but for everyone around her?
BC agreed earlier to seeing a counselor to help her mind through this. She has yet to talk to anyone, she has also stopped taking her depression medicine. This is not good. BC can be a handful when she is not in a good mood (which woman can’t be) and of course everyone around her is trying to keep her as happy as can be. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. But when do you say enough is enough and take the chance and intentionally piss her off and say point blank..You will talk to someone whether you like it or not, you will take your medication, you will keep fighting..you will not give up! Your intention is not to make her mad and upset but help her to deal with the cards that she has been dealt. Her loved ones don’t want to cause any unnecessary stress, I wouldn’t either but yet you don’t want to see BC give up and say she can’t do this anymore. No one wants to hear that. No one wants to lose the gem that BC is to this world. She is loved by all and the world would become a shade darker without her in it.
My sister left my house yesterday afternoon with this struggle. As a friend when do you cross that line and quit enabling her to make this choice of giving up. When do you look her in the eye and say “you will not give up and leave me, your family, and yourself”. I have yet to hear what all happened last night at the hospital but I can only hope for the positive.
I was talking to someone else about all of this last night and their outlook is not good. I wanted to jump through the phone and strangle this person. You can’t think negatively! I don’t want to hear your reality outlook on the situation and so help me god if this person says what was said to me to my sister I will have words with them and it won’t be pretty. I do believe they know better but still, I wouldn’t put it past them.
I refuse to let my thoughts turn negative. We all must stay positive, have beautiful thoughts of recovery and victory for BC. She needs the strength from everyone around her, everyone that loves her more now than ever.
We love you BC, stay strong, stay with us and fight.