A crazy weekend that ended in some closure.

It was a weekend of fun, old friends, plenty of alcohol, good food, scary people and somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster.  I will just start at the beginning.

When I left on Friday I let my nerves get the best of me for the first bit of the trip.  I stopped to get a bite to eat and learned how nervous I really was due to the fact that I forced myself to eat at least a quarter of my biscuit and fought vomiting afterwards for about 30 minutes…peachy.  I finally cleared my mind, turned up the music and jammed for the next 4 hours.  When I finally reached the home stretch of the drive I saw the sign…Gold Star Chili on the next exit!  I exited immediately and found this little piece of heaven and ordered my usual, 2 cheese coneys and a coke.  I savored every bite as I sat in the parking lot plus by this time I was starving.  After leaving heaven I continued on..only 30 more minutes.  I pull up in front of the house, get out, and take a deep breath..awwe the smell of the fair, the sound of the kids screaming from joy and fear on the rides.  So many memories of the younger days come flashing through my mind and I smile and walk up to the porch.  I make the call to get the house key and wait and make my ‘I made it phone calls’.  After about 15 minutes I get the house key and walk in the door.  I didn’t know what to expect.  Was the house going to be rid of everything my mom and us, was everything going to be different?  The answer was no.  I sigh in relief.  My step dad and the new wife wasn’t due home until after midnight so I could spend the rest of the afternoon in peace in my mom’s home, with her things.  Splendid.  I walk around the house and take it all in.  I decided it was time to do the walk of shame up through the fair..here I go.  A couple of things you should know about this fair..1. In our town it is a huge deal, it is the oldest fair in the state of Indiana it’s been going on for over 100 years.  2.  People come out of the woodwork to attend this fair, you see all kinds and at times it can be a bit scary.   I get half way up the main way and get stopped by a carni..oh here we go.  He is about 60 years old and says to me “you sure are pretty” I say thank you and turn to walk away..he wasn’t done yet.  He says “you got a boyfriend at home?”  I say no I have a husband and two kids at home.  He continues on ‘well I don’t have one of them but you like food?’  Yes I like food.  He says “you like movies?”  Yes I like movies.  He says ‘well if you ever leave that husband of yours I’ll take you to get something to eat and to a movie so you look me up when we can do that’.  I say sure ok.  We are getting hitched next month.  A lifetime of free ferris wheel rides..go me!   I wish I would have walked through with a camera and taken pictures of all the wonders that I got to witness in my 30 minute venture.  It was interesting to say the least.  Punks in their skinny jeans but yet they were baggy like they just pooped their pants, ball caps on crooked and wife beater shirts that had more holes in them than a slice of swiss cheese.  Moms pushing their strollers with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth, teenagers pushing strollers and yes the babies were theirs, girls in clothes that were 3 sizes too small, more people without teeth than people with…it is official..it is farmer’s fair.  I leave the fair and walk over to the bar/restaurant where my buddy is bartending.  The outside bar is pretty much empty..awesome!  I plop down with my coffee and we start catching up.  I love this boy, we were great friends in school and my mom dated his dad for a bit and I consider him family.  We don’t get to talk for 2 minutes and this couple that is sitting caddy cornered from me starts chiming in.  I look over and there sits this couple and the woman is missing a few teeth, no bra on drinking her bud light and smoking her reds and her lovely husband is so hammered at 5pm that I honestly can’t understand a word that he is saying.  He starts asking me if I know so-n-so because that bastard doesn’t pay him enough but he doesn’t care because he makes his own wealth.  Good for you buddy!  Blake and I try to continue our conversation but we don’t get too far.  Hammered main is persistent on finding out if I know this guy.  Well I do but I just tell him I’m not from here and I have no idea who you are talking about.  Then he wants to know what brand my sunglasses are because they have to be Gucci or something.  I say no I don’t drop money on sunglasses like that.  It’s the woman’s turn to talk now..I can’t wait!  She starts telling me how she loves Coach and Gucci purses and some other high end brands and says I bet you love Coach purses.  I say no, again I don’t drop money on accessories like that.  She wants to know where I bought my purse (I don’t even have my purse with me) I tell her Off Broadway Shoes in hopes that will stop this lovely game we are now playing.  Oh no..she goes on.  I’m thinking really?  You look like you don’t have a pot to piss in but you are sporting Coach purses??  Go you!  Finally they decide it’s time to move on and hammered man notices my boots and goes on for the next 5 minutes on how ‘tough’ they are.  He asks me where I got them and says they had to be expensive.  I say no they were $30 from shoe carnival.  The lesson here..you don’t have to drop crazy money or sport high end brands to look expensive.  Take this lesson hammered man and no bra woman and learn from it.  Finally they make it to the door and leave.  Back to normalcy.  In the meantime I tell Blake about my step dad getting remarried and he says who is she because he has been in here with some doozies.  I show him the picture and he says oh yeah I remember her and she is a beast!  What!  I say is she a bitch you mean and he says no just a beast and a sponge, meaning she is most likely sponging off of my step dad.  Freaking peachy.  I eat and it’s time to head back to get ready for the evening.

First stop the legion which is on the other end of the fair..again a walk through the fair from one end to another.  This time I make it a point to call my sister to occupy me while I walk and to avoid any encounters.  I make it to the Legion buy my drink tickets and there stands my friends…finally normal people!  It was so so good to see everyone!  The beer tastes fantastic and we are off to a good start.  We stay there for about an hour or so catching up with everyone hopping from group to group doing the whole I haven’t seen you for ages what have you been up to dance.  A couple of beers and jello shot later it’s time to move on.  We get the girls together and make our way to the other end of the fair, this time taking the alleys..we pass a few kid couples making out in the alley, the lovely fair love.  I remember those days.  We giggle give them a fun hard time and continue our walk.  We make it, order our first round and find a seat on the patio.  This is what I have been waiting for, all of us sitting around catching up, laughing and enjoying the evening on the river.  (the bar is right on the river)  The DJ finally starts and the bar is getting packed and we are feeling no pain and by this point no cold.  We dance, we mingle, we laugh, we do more shots and drink more beer.  After making numerous rounds, having a weird conversation with one of my middle school teachers, doing one last shot with a childhood buddy that still to this day picks on me like we are still 10 years old, it was time to call it a night.  I walk up to the bar to pay my tab and this is where having your buddy bartending comes in handy, my tab has been open since 5pm and has food, drinks, and a round of shots on it and it is only $20.  Love him and my wallet thanks him too!  It’s time to walk home and hit the bed.  About 30 minutes into trying to pass out I hear the door open and my step dad is home.  He yells in at me and says hi and I pass out.

My eyes fly open way to early Saturday morning and the headache starts and I feel that my knee is swollen..good times.  I eat some advil and try to go back to bed..not happening..the nerves start to kick in on meeting ‘her’.  I get up trying to be quiet and hang out on the back porch for awhile taking in the view of the river with fog coming off of it..it’s beautiful.  The door opens and my step dad walk out.  We do some small talk and it was a little awkward.  After about an hour I walk in and out walks Susan, the new wife.  In the picture that he sent me she looked pretty.  Oh wow is all I have to say.  Now she is very nice and was very pleasant to me. There was more awkwardness with my step dad than with her.  I can’t complain about her to much but oh man is she rough.  It’s hard seeing him go from my mom who was a classy beautiful lady to well, that.  This woman is crackhead skinny and not very attractive and looks like she has been rode hard and put away wet.  She showers and walks out in her Hogs Breath shirt (a bar in Key West where they got married and just got back from).  I am pretty sure she walked into the Hogs Breath store and looked for the skankiest long sleeve shirt she could possibly find because it was black and thin, you could see right through it and it skin tight, and no she chose not to wear anything but her bra underneath it.  What a fabulous choice.  Anyway, they leave and head for the bars, its noon.  I, myself opted for a low key afternoon because I was still nursing my hangover.  I drive up the road to get my second piece of heaven, Frisch’s Big Boy and chili..oh my it was so good, I could have called it a weekend at this point because it was now complete.  I came home pigged out like Frisch’s was leaving the earth tomorrow and took a nap.  I woke up refreshed had some coffee and was ready to go.  My step dad and Susan stopped in before heading to the next bar and I am pretty sure they were both on their way to being hammered at this point and feeling no pain.  I told them I might catch up with them later and they went on.  I got ready and headed out to meet an old friend for dinner that I have not seen in 5 years.  It was wonderful!  Never a quiet moment, love that girl!  After dinner we headed down the road back to the bar.  It was an uneventful night compared to the night before because I did not want a hangover the next day and have to drive 5 hours, so I behaved.  It was a fun night and again easy on my wallet.  After a couple of beers and a round of shots my tab was only $2.75.  I am pretty sure at this point I have spent more money on food than booze.  Happy girl right here.  I headed home and it was only midnight.

I woke up Sunday morning and was ready to get the hell out of there.  I made it a point to go through my moms things in the basement to find some stuff I wanted.  I went through some boxes one of which was all photos.  I found myself with tears running down my cheeks looking through them, I made a pile of the ones that I wanted and continued on.  I made up two boxes of stuff.  I had told my step dad that I wanted to go through the attic and he said that was fine but we had to wait for the tenants to get up.  In the meantime I went out to the garage which was full to the ceiling of moms furniture and other things that after converting the upstairs into an apartment didn’t fit in the house anymore.  I unlocked the door and opened it…It was empty.  There was a corvette sitting there instead, it was Susan’s.  Of course she had a Corvette.  I fought back a couple of tears took a deep breath and closed the door.  It was bound to happen plus it has been 5 years.  I didn’t even bring it up to him or ask where it all went because there was nothing I could do about it now.  It happened.  I went in and finished packing up my stuff and started loading the car.  He helped me and asked me what I wanted the most out of the attic because the tenants were still not up and he needed to go up there sometime soon and he would look for what I wanted, so I told him.  He said next time I am up we will make an appointment with the tenants and we will go through everything.  That’s cool, fair enough.  I said my goodbyes and headed up the road.  I made a stop at my good friend Christy’s house to say goodbye and told her about this mornings venture through my moms things and that I still have some unanswered questions for my step dad that I was too chicken shit to ask.  So she said for me to get my sister and come back up soon and stay with her and that way my sister can be with me when we go through the attic.  My sister is my backbone when it comes to touchy stuff and she has the balls to get the answers and she gives me the strength to get them too.  We are a good team.  So here in the next month or two we are going to do that.

I have came to terms with the fact that my step dad has moved on and that will be the last time I ever stay in that house.  I am fine with it, that is their house now but yet they are still living among my mom’s things. When I started up there I didn’t want anything to be changed in that house, I wanted to still feel my mom in the house.  I did to a point but I think that is because that is what I wanted to feel.  To see them living there with her things, using her baskets, sleeping in her bed, sitting on her couch, I think the total opposite now.   I want to take all of my mom’s belongings out of that house and bring them here with me or just not have them there any longer.  I will have my final closure after the next trip and I load my car with some of those belongings and get them out of there.  My mom would shit to know that another woman is living among her things and using her stuff as her own.  To you mom, I have your back and I will do what is needed to be done and next time I am bring you home with me.  You, your ashes, will be here with us, your family.  I will have my final closure.

About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on October 4, 2010, in Events, family, humans, Humor, Indiana, life, Me, miscellaneous, mothers, Other and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I am glad it was a good trip overall, although bittersweet at moments.

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