When, as a parent, do you draw the line with dress?


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I just finished watching the story on the Today Show about a post that was Freshly Pressed last week titled “My Son is Gay” by Nerdy Apple Bottom.  I read this post last week when I caught it on the freshly pressed page and went on about my business.  This post has received quite the attention seeing that they have done two stories on it now on the Today Show.  I was a little floored by the interview.  They interviewed the mom Sara aka Nerdy Apple Bottom, another mom, Cheryl Kilodavis,  who was featured in People magazine because her son loves all things pretty and pink and she is the author of the book “My Princess Boy“, and they also interviewed a doctor on the subject.  What I am floored by does not pertain to Nerdy Apple Bottom.  In my opinion she was just letting her son be who he wanted for Halloween and that just happened to be Daphne from Scooby Doo.  She said her son doesn’t normally dress in girls clothes he just really wanted to be her for Halloween.  That’s cool.  Rock it Boo!

My problem lied with the other mom, the author of the book “My Princess Boy”.  I get that boys will want to dress up and play, I have no problem with that but it should be left to playtime.  Hell one of my really good friend’s son loved princesses and would always have one of his big sisters play dresses on, he was 2-3 during this period.  They have since pretty much put a stop to it and plus he is all boy any other time.  Kids will be kids and play dress up and follow their older siblings and want to do what they are doing.  It’s all good there.  But to encourage it to the point that this mom has??  That is what I don’t understand.  I have a son and if he wanted to dress up at the age of 2-3 or even 4 that’s fine but there is a point in time where as a parent I have to stop this.  The mom said that her son has an eye “for pretty things”.  That’s cool.  She also is allowing him to dress in girl clothes to school.  Stop the press right there, this is where I have a problem.  Are you kidding me?  Do you want your child in therapy as the age of 7 due to the bullying, comments, and stares that he has got to be encountering at school.  Yes bullying is awful and it should not happen but lets look at this through a reality scope shall we.  The bullying and comments are going to happen with this situation.  And a big shame on the parent for allowing her child to go to school like that and endure it.  We as parents should always support our children with whatever they decide to be and do but there is also a level of protection we should give our children from the harshness that can come from the general public.  Let’s face it people, kids and adults, can be cruel, it’s reality and as much as we don’t want it to be and want to change the world’s thinking it isn’t going to happen overnight.  It is what it is.  Is he being scarred now at such a young age that if he does a year from now decide he wants to dress like a boy the kids will always remember him as the boy that dressed like a girl for the rest of his school years.  The book is designed to “open a dialogue to embrace uniqueness and teaches children and adults how to accept others who cross traditional gender lines when it comes to clothing and self expression”.  That’s cool but at such a young age?  I’m sorry but I don’t want to open this dialogue until my kids are old enough to understand and completely grasp the meaning behind it all.  Right now at the age of 5 and 8 they are not going to grasp it and frankly I don’t want them to and I am not ready to go there with them.  If my son or daughter had a boy in his class that dressed like a girl to school on a regular basis I, as a parent, would have a problem with that.  All for some self expression but let them do that at home at this age.  I do not take my kids to places where there are people in drag because they are too young to understand why a man is dressed as a woman and vice versa and a school is not a place for kids or adults to dress in ‘drag’.  You can’t tell me that if there was a male teacher at your kids school who insisted on dressing like a woman that all the parents wouldn’t have a HUGE problem with it.  Oh there would be a problem a big problem.

Yes I am that parent that will insist on my kids dressing respectfully for their own sake and people around them when they are at school or out in public.  I am all for self expression and being who you are but until you are old enough to figure out who you are without any influence from others you will be a respectful child and dress appropriately around the general public.

About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on November 8, 2010, in Events, humans, life, Me, miscellaneous and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Ah yes the Princess Boy book was interesting. I am with you on this idea of self-expression versus avoiding years of therapy later as a result of being too forward thinking shall we say.
    I used to babysit a boy that loved to dress up like a girl, but it was limited to play time. I also used to love to go to my friend Matt’s house as a kid and play with all his cool He-Man and She-Ra toys and costumes and he would come to my house and play with my Barbie collection. Both of us turned out just fine 🙂

    • totally agree. Just because a boy plays dress up or with barbies or a girl loves football and he-man (I loved he-man and she-ra!!) doesn’t mean that they are going to turn out one way or another. If that was the case my poor husband wouldn’t be the manly man he is today, he had 2 sisters and he was the only boy and he loved him some barbies and they dressed him up all the time. I just think that should be left to, like you said, play time and I don’t think it is appropriate for school or needs to exploited like that mother, in my eyes, is doing.

  2. I didnt hear about the Princess Boy. But I agree with you. At that age, they just need to be who they are. Kids will be kids. Now as far as their sexuality goes, they don’t need to worry about that til they are able to comprehend what it fully means.

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