Dear Mr. Cold….

Dear Mr. Cold,

It has officially been one week, 7 miserable days, since you have checked into my body and you have now worn out your welcome here.  You are not a fun or pleasant guest to have around and I need you to go away…now..right now..immediately.  Consider yourself Evicted, please read and comply with above notice.  You have done nothing positive for me, all you have managed to do is run havoc on my body.  You have made me sore, sweaty, freezing, sneezy, miserable, tired, and now your latest shenanigan…making me blow parts of my brain out through my nose which is now raw and it hurts and frankly its just disgusting.  You make me snotty during the day and stuff me up at night and therefore I wake up with furry teeth and chapped lips…ewwwe!  That’s just wrong.   I do not find this game you are playing funny or amusing.  You played a trick on me on Friday, you let me feel better for a day and then you came back even worse.  What did I do to you?  Did you get a laugh out of it?  I hope you are thoroughly amused.  I have been a good and patient hostess but now it’s just time for you to go.  I need to go grocery shopping and be a part of society but with you here I feel like a reject.  I need to get my kid a pair of shoes and warm coats but I don’t have the energy, so my son has been going to school barefoot and both of my kids have frostbite. Are you happy?  No one wants to be around me, no one wants wants my germs that you are leaving behind.  My family is going to starve because of you and my husband is not going to have his coffee.  Can you live with that on your conscience?  I hope not.  I am in need of human interaction and sunlight.  You must pack your bags and leave the premises immediately or I am calling in the big boys to bounce you.

He's going to tear your face off if you don't leave.

I say Good Day to you, now get the fuck out!

Yours truly,


ps.  If you even think think about taking up residence in one of my children or my husband I will take the drastic measures needed and behead you personally.  If you want to keep your life you need to leave nicely and quickly.  I will be awaiting your payment for time and suffering.  Please pay promptly.

Seriously! I'm not joking.

About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on November 9, 2010, in life, Me, miscellaneous, Other, rants and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Now thats the only way to talk to a cold! Thats like Sopreno style!

  2. Ugh, that is a long time for a cold. I hope he leaves promptly after reading this letter.

    And passing colds around families stinks!

  3. ouww! a bad state to be in, but this is the cutest conversation with cold i’ve come across.. 🙂
    I hope you get well soon.

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