A new day..
A new day which comes with a new outlook on a couple of things and I am going to try my best to stay on track with it. My eyes have been opened to a few things recently..some I agree with, which are the ones that I will work on, a couple have left me quite confused and a few I don’t agree with at all. I have been checked and in that I have checked myself in one department. It is not me to hurt people and cause uneasy/uncomfortable feelings, that is the last thing I want to do, and absolutely the last thing I ever intend to do. That’s not my style. It could be a number of things that led to this…I let myself become too comfortable and was under the impression that they really knew me, maybe its the fault of the other party for not letting me know that something was bothering them and therefore led to built up frustration regarding the issue, or it’s that they jumped on a bandwagon. I don’t know and most likely never will. That’s ok. What matters is that I am aware of a few things now. The unfortunate part is a friendship was lost, but was it a friendship in the first place? I was under the impression that it was but after learning what I have I question my thinking. I question it for the fact of how it was brought to my attention, how quick it was brought to an end without an attempt to reconcile it and that is why I question if it was what i thought it was. I’m leaning towards no. That is completely fine, I chalk it up to another life lesson. People come into our lives and they leave, it’s just how the world works. I have always had many friends and always will, this I know, so I found it a little humorous when there was an attempt to ‘school’ me on the ways of certain types of relationships. I have never had a problem so as I appreciate the advice I really don’t need it. There are people that you will just click with and some that will take a while to find out if you do or not, truly . The ones that do just ‘click’ are the ones that will be by your side, the ones that take a while can go one of two ways. It’s unfortunate when they go but it is what it is and that is just how life works. I know that I am a good person, a caring, giving person so when I find out that I have hurt someone in some way it bothers me. It goes along with the guilt I feel when I ruin someone’s day, I just hate it whether or not I was wrong or right. It doesn’t matter because I feel guilty. I have to remind myself with certain situations to take a step back and look at the whole picture, to truly look and take into consideration many things. Sometimes you will find that it isn’t what you thought or what you have been beating yourself up about. When that realization comes to light and reality shines through the guilt is alleviated and you move on. This I have done. I know and the people close to me know the true me, the person I am. They have taken the time to get to know me, what I am about, they way I think, my sarcasm, my heart. And those are the ones that I will keep close.
Posted on November 27, 2010, in Events, Friends, life, Other and tagged Blog, events, Friends, Friendship, Guilt, Human, life, me, miscellaneous, my life, other, Random Thoughts, relationship, thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.