A Monday Night..Beer and Murders.

I am happy to report that I and the husband got out last night.  I was not expecting it since I got a “we’ll see” response yesterday afternoon when I first brought it up so I was surprised after he got home and asked where we were going to eat.  Huh?  You said “we’ll see” so I was assuming you weren’t feeling it.  I was not dressed and ready to go when the word came that we were going.  Thankfully he wasn’t ready either.  We both got ready and yes I rocked my “Merry Christmas Bitches” and will continue every day now till Christmas, I only have 4 days left to wear this shirt…it will be worn.

After a great dinner and some even better conversation we headed home..I thought.  He surprised me once again after I had turned on my turn signal to hit the road to home, he said lets go to Yates and get a beer.  YES!  This is what I have wanted for 3 weeks now, to sit in a hole in the wall and have a drinky poo.

It’s Monday night, the bar shouldn’t be crowded, we should be able to watch the football game and talk.  Wrong.  It wasn’t crowded so that was good.  They had the game on, that was good.  We get our first round and sit back start talking when we are interrupted by a woman who tells me “There is going to be great music, dancing and karaoke from 8-Midnight”, I look at her and say ok completely annoyed that this is going to take place.  It’s Monday…beer and football…that is it, that is all I wanted.  I am not a hater of karaoke, I don’t sing and partake in the karaoke festivities but I usually don’t mind it..it can be quite entertaining but it is Monday, again football and beer.  Ten minutes later and ten minutes early I might add, the music starts.  It is so freaking loud that Billy and I can not hear each other talk, seriously it was ridiculous how loud this music was.  The first couple of songs were good ole country songs, I am guessing to get everyone in the ‘mood’ for some singing OR so everyone will drink faster so their ears don’t start bleeding from what is to come.  I am going with the latter of the two.  Half way through my beer the singing starts.  The first girl was the one in charge of the whole party and she wasn’t bad, actually really good.  This is one advantage I have learned to karaoke around Nashville, people can usually sing, everybody is a musician in some way, shape or form…except for me.  Then the music to ‘Crazy’ by Patsy Cline starts.  I get a big smile on my face, I love this song, it was one of my Mom’s favorites and every single time I hear it I picture her singing it.  Love that song.  Well my friends, that song now has been butchered..dead.  A different chick (who I am hoping was well hammered to explain why she was even attempting to sing) belted out the first line…instant blood coming from my ears, I couldn’t even sing along in my head because she was killing this beautiful song so badly.  It was the worst karaoke I have ever heard and witnessed.  Strike number 3.  (strike 1 was having karaoke in the first place and 2 was the music being too loud)  So so sad.  They play a dance song, it’s popular and on the radio but I can’t think of the name of it, anyway some white dude wants to attempt to beat box to it or make 5 year old sound effects through.the.entire.song.  Fail.  Stop it!  Two songs later I hear the music to “She’s in Love with the Boy” by Trisha Yearwood start.  Awesome, another song to put a smile on my face because again it’s one of my Mom’s favorites.  *Mind you, we are sitting at the bar and all this wonderful stuff is going on behind our backs so I can’t see who is seeing unless turning around*  The singing starts…again blood coming from the ears…it’s the same fucking hopefully hammered girl that butchered Crazy!  Stop.fucking.singing.  Another beautiful song killed….dead…murdered.  At this point Billy says do you want to go or do you want to have one more?  I want another but I can’t handle this for much longer so I will have a shot to make this quick.  In the meantime of waiting what seemed to be an eternity for our next round, which is odd seeing that there is 3 of us sitting at the bar and maybe 10 other people in the entire place we got to witness the electric slide.  Yes I took a video to share my pain with everyone.

The girl on the left in the green and white is the song murderer.  I wanted to take my boot off and throw it at her every time she had the mic in her hand but I had my cute boots on and didn’t want to ruin them.  Finally we got our shots that took for-ev-er to get.  Why?  Because the dumbass bartender didn’t know how to make them and had to get the owner to show her how.  Looking back at my observations of her she didn’t know how to make squat.  She was constantly referring to the wall that I am guessing had the drink recipes on them.  How can you be a bartender and not know simple drinks?  Bartender fail.  We down, wait Billy downs his shot, and it takes me awhile because it is strong plus I am a woos and can’t just take a shot, I drink it like a drink.  I know I’m a baby and that is my own alcohol fail…it’s called enjoying and savoring my shot.  Hey it sounds good right?   😉   After the shot and white dude trying to beat box or make his sound effects once again to country song this time it was time to go…time to RUN.  We headed home.  After coming home I realized that one beer and that one oh so strong shot made me all warm and fuzzy and I felt like I had 3 shots.  That is good when it comes to only spending about $30 at a bar when Billy was drinking Crown along with a beer and two shots.  Cool.  Bad because where in the hell is my tolerance?  Did it take the night off?  What the crap?  I had a belly full of pasta I should have been able to drink like a champ or at least what is champ level for me.  It was a cheap night so I can’t complain.  Sitting on the couch with Billy he asked if I wanted a beer and I declined, I was done drinking at this point.  He says to me..I kid you not…”you should really start drinking beer everyday so you can appreciate how wonderful it is”  Huh?  He goes on “Beer is great, you should get to the point where you can wake up and have a beer and then eat a bowl of ice cream”.  What?  I am guessing the 8 crown and cokes he has had is starting to effect what I consider a smart brain.  He has gone dumb.  He then says “I don’t want you to become an alcoholic or anything but you just don’t appreciate the beer, I spent 16 years of my life loving the beer”.  I said “well do you want me to just sit home all day and drink and be hammered when the kids get home?”  He says with a smile “That would be cool”.  This whole conversation is a joke by the way but it was one of the strangest I have ever had with him.  He cracks me up.  I love this man for a reason..he makes me laugh, he makes me smile and he is just off the wall sometimes.  On that note he went out and played his guitar very loud and I stayed on the couch and played Bejeweled on my phone.

We had went to dinner, went to the bar, witnessed a few murders, had a crazy conversation, and were in bed by 10:30 on a Monday.  We are the Wild Couple.


About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on December 21, 2010, in life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. My commentary is better left for email or text 🙂

  2. Karaoke on a Monday? Weird.

    Usually I give props to people who get up to sing whether they’re bad or good. But that rule is only in effect for one song.

    After that, they stink. Song butchers.

    • I know..that’s what I thought!
      I do give props to people that will get up and sing because I am too chicken shit to do it. Plus I am pretty sure I sound like a dying cow when I do so I try to spare the people.

  3. The last time that I went to karaoke my friends girlfriend sang. She was awful. My stupid ass blogged about it on MySpace. I forgot that I had him as a MySpace friend. His girlfriend read the post about me talking about how awful she was. Oops!

  4. You should have posted a bunch pics of the “murders” and in big black letters underneath the pics say MURDERER!
    Its what I would have done. Uh in the spirit of the holidays.

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