Realizing You’re in a Stay at Home Mom Rut.

Yesterday I felt like a badass.  I’m pretty sure sometime during spring break last week my house threw a party that I didn’t know about.  It was out of control.  I went on a mission to regain control again and  I totally kicked my house’s butt…I scrubbed it, I swept it, I conquered it.  It was crying in pain and in shame.  I am the champion.  I am awarding myself a trophy for doing all my laundry AND putting it away.  That right there is huge.

Yesterday also was W’s first soccer practice and he did great.  It’s awesome to see him into something that he loves to do.  He didn’t stop talking afterwards till his head hit his pillow.  He recapped the whole practice for me even though I was standing there the whole time watching.  I am proud of him.  I met another mom who volunteered to be the assistant coach because nobody else would and I agreed to help her.  At least I am not “assistant coach” seeing that I know nothing right now of the sport. If it was me in charge I would look at the kids and tell them to just go out there and kick the ball, which I think would actually work at this stage of soccer.   😉   I am looking forward to the season!

Which leads me to a serious note.  I have realized that I have let myself slip into a stay-at-home mom rut. Yesterday, like I said before, was Will’s first practice, I had something to look forward to.  I got up, got the kids off to school, chilled for a moment and then got busy on this house.  I was in a great mood and kicked butt.  I felt really good when practice time rolled around and it made my day even more seeing how excited W was.  I have always been the type of person that likes to have something to do, somewhere to go, being involved in something.  I was in the MOMS Club for 4 years and president of our chapter for 2, I was highly active in our chapter attending at least one activity a week.  I always had something on the calendar, something to work on, activities to plan, emails to send, activities to attend etc. It was great but after my second year of president I became burnt out and then both of my kids were in school full time and I faded out of the MOMS Club scene by choice.  What I do miss about that time is the being involved in something and having something to do. That is what I am lacking at the moment.  This year many of my friend’s kids are in school full time now and they have became busy or have went back to work.  So now I find myself home a lot because if I let myself leave the house I end up spending money, I am really good at that.   😉    I haven’t been out with my camera so that is driving me crazy and adding to the feeling of being in a rut.  I know that this will all take a turn come summer but for now it is eating at me and something needs to change.

Last night it really hit home.  It all made sense after the day was done.  I had something on the calendar, something to look forward to.  I think it is easy to let yourself slip into a rut if you are not careful.  My rut has been going on for longer than what I let myself believe.  I wasn’t staying up with what I needed to do because it was the same thing every day.  Get up, get the kids to school, laundry, clean, grocery store etc.  That gets old real quick, I have become bored.  I know what you are thinking, ‘well shut up and go get a job’.  Yes I could do that but I don’t want to 1. quit when school lets out for the summer and 2. I don’t want to have to put them in child care everyday of their summer if I do keep it.  I am very fortunate in the fact that I can stay home with the kids and be here every day when they get off the bus, to spend everyday of the summer with them, to be a huge part of their lives.  I am extremely grateful everyday that I can stay home because I know this could change in an instant.  My mom stayed at home with us until I was in High School and it was great and I love the fact that I can do it for my kids.  That I don’t want to change until it is necessary.

So I have had my wake up call, I realize now that something needs to give..needs to change.  Yesterday in my post I whined a bit about being a ‘soccer mom’ and wanting to avoid the whole assistant coach or team mom but would it really be that bad?  I’m starting to think not.  It is something to be involved in and most importantly it involves my son and something that he loves.  Not that that is the only thing I want to be involved in but it is a start.  I have always been one who would rather be busy than bored.  Boredom eats at me and I am now missing half of my arm and leg.  It’s time to get back into the swing of things, break the boredom, break the cycle.

I’m off to be un-bored.



About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on March 29, 2011, in life, Me and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. Do you have a PTA at your kids school?

    I loved being in the PTA. It wasn’t a 9-5 thing either. I did their newsletter, made copies of fliers for upcoming events(chairman of those events would give me outlines of the events and I would make up a flyer with clip art and fonts-I LOVE IT!), volunteer for room mom (this will probably come next year, it’s alittle late now), or if you want I can give you some ideas you can pitch to the PTA for events if you want.

    You said you love to take pictures. Start a photo blog from around your town.

    I know the feeling. Well.

    • We do have a PTO and I considered it and then dismissed it at the beginning of the year and now I am already considering it for next year. As for the room mom, the kid’s school doesn’t really have that. 😦 i do volunteer when I can and when they need someone and I have been on every field trip with them. So I try to be there as much as I can.

      I do love to take pictures and I have started a pic blog (spokenStill blog on my blog roll) but I haven’t updated it in some time and need to do that ASAP! I also sell my photos on etsy which sadly again, hasn’t been updated. I have some ideas in mind for new photo projects and it’s at the point of just getting them done and planning them with the weather. I blame the whole rut thing for not getting my butt in gear! 😉

  2. I think Captain Kirk may have said, more or less, something along these same lines.

    “Maybe we weren’t meant for paradise. Maybe we were meant to fight our way through – struggle, claw our way up, scratch for every inch of the way. Maybe we can’t stroll to the music of lutes. We must march to the sound of drums.”

    Am I stretching the comparison too far? Maybe. But what I call “paradise” is free time and doing nothing. Being bored is the greatest luxury of all when it’s always go, go, go!
    But, like you say, too much of anything, even boredom, can lead to the “rut.”

    • I like that! 😉 Don’t get me wrong here, I do love my free time but like you said too much of anything can get the best of you. I don’t need to fill every second of my day but I need to be a bit busier than what I currently am.

  3. Well, seeing as how you are now missing half your arm and leg I am not sure what gig a partial amputee can get but…I agree activities at the school are possible, even a job at the school district as a school aid (my mom does that now) and many places need just a part time office staff person and then there is also the Meals On Wheels that I do which is always looking for people during the day and you are done well before the kids get out of school. Just some brainstorming for you 🙂

    • I am screwed then now being an amputee. 😉 Great ideas and I am going to research the meal on wheels gig and keep the school aid in mind for next year!

  4. “I think it is easy to let yourself slip into a rut if you are not careful.”

    That’s so true! Especially with all the housework that needs to be done, and all of the routines that we use to get through the day. I’m stuck in a rut now, waiting for the kid to get potty trained so we can put her in pre-school. Then I can begin a new chapter in life, but for now, I’m still at home. I’m not stuck at home, that’s by choice. But the “rut” part is still difficult to take.

    • Absolutely. I hope she is potty trained soon and you can start your next chapter! I have been there. I’m not stuck at home either, I choose to be here, I just need to find a better way utilize some of my time.

      Ruts are no fun, I hate when I find myself in one! Good luck to you!

  5. I have been there. It really is easy to slip into a state of routine boredom. It’s funny how you don’t realize that you are there until something exciting comes along. I had been really active and involved in the kids schools and activities for years. It was exhausting and I decided to take a break from it all. I just took care of the kids and the house. Then about three years ago when my youngest started his baseball career, I got suckered into the team mom job. It was the best thing that could have happened to me.

    I’ve been crazy busy ever since. I even made an hour long DVD with pictures and video of the kids throughout the season. It kept me really busy and all the parents and coaches appreciated it, especially since we won the championship and it was all caught on video.

    Find your groove girl. You got this!

  6. That was my problem then I went to work … now I am like damnit I wanna go back home. However now its good that I work. At least I only work 4 days out of the week.

  7. What about being the soccor team “photographer”? A parent from my son’s basketball team has been taking pictures every season since our sons started and it is so fun to look back and see pictures of my son pee-wee basketball to varisty. I treasure those. You could get satisfy your photography craving and be a part of something. It’s a win-win.

    • This is why having a blog is so awesome. almost every comment left on this post has given me ideas, encouragement and/or share of personal stories. I love it.

      the team photographer is an amazing idea! I am doing it! And I already have exciting ideas to do with the photos for the end of the season!

  8. Good for you. I imagine it must be very hard being a stay at home mom. I don’t know how you do it, day in and day out. So, I guess it’s really important to do things for yourself to keep your sanity.

  9. If it makes you feel better (so to speak), I’m not a SAHM, or a mom at all, but I’ve been in a rut the last couple of months and it’s been so hard to get my arse back on track. But, once you make the decision to get out of that rut, you’re on the right path 🙂 At the moment, I am so bored with life, and I need some excitement – wanna run away? 😀

    Stay cool chickie,


  10. I think it’s awesome that you stay home with your kids. I hope to someday do that.

    I hope you find something (maybe soccer) to shake things up!

  11. Thank you for asking about my dad. At the moment, he’s pissing everybody off acting like he’s three years old but I’ll take that over him sleeping the day away and being depressed. For someone who has beaten cancer twice and now has a possibility of yet another cancer diagnosis, he’s doing pretty well.

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