Cicadas..Let the Hell begin.
You know what 2011 means in Tennessee? It means the 13 year cicadas make their appearance. Great huh? These little critters have been dormant in the ground for 13 freaking years and now they are bored and horny. They have started to arrive in my backyard. First 2 days ago with a shell here or there on my fence, this morning even more.
Welcome to my hell…and it’s just the beginning.
Here is a quote from a local news site:
Brood XIX is expected to emerge from the ground in May “and they will come out by the millions,” according to Dr. Hale.
He added, “Brood XIX is the biggest brood that we have in Middle Tennessee. It is encompassing most of Middle Tennessee, even some counties in east Tennessee and probably a few west of here.”
That’s just freaking peachy. Millions..yes millions per acre. They are the loudest insect, so when you factor in thousands of these little shits in your backyard it can be deafening. I am stocking up on ear plugs.
My dog is having a blast right now with the cicadas coming up out of the ground. Friday night he started walking funny in the grass and we had no idea what he was doing. Picture a Tennessee Walking Horse…
Then he hops around like a damn antelope for awhile.
Not so entertaining is my daughter in regards to bugs in general. Little bugs, big bugs, medium bugs, spiders, May Flies, you name it she ain’t having it. If my daughter makes it through the cicada invasion with out having a heart attack it will be amazing. I have a feeling when they are out full swing in all their thousands she will never come out of the house. It should be great times. I picked one up the other day to show it to her (and I wanted to see her reaction because I’m cruel like that) she freaked out and
said screamed “Don’t you come near me with that thing!”. I chuckled and came closer of course and by that time she was running away back into the house. She didn’t like me too much that day. 😛
I can remember when my sister and I were little in Indiana and the 17 year cicadas came out. They were everywhere, you couldn’t see the bark on the trees because there were so many. We had a blast. We found out that if you pull off their front legs their heads pop off. Game on! There were so many headless cicadas laying around it was ridiculous but yet hours of entertainment. Yes we were weird children!
So for the next 6 weeks we will become deaf, we will listen to the cicadas make their “I’m horny as shit” call or in other words their version of Bell Biv Devoes “Do Me” and most likely witness some cicada porn. I will teach, at least my son, to behead cicadas, because I am an awesome mom like that. My daughter will most likely be in the house shaking in a corner somewhere thinking the cicadas are here to kill her. My dog will most likely be puking somewhere because he has ate so many of them and will have the worst gas in the world. (word on the street is that dogs love to eat the larva casings and it gives them the awful gas). You can find me shooting straight Jack Daniels from the bottle in the kitchen.
Posted on May 10, 2011, in life and tagged Blog, Brood XIX, Child, children, Cicada, events, family, Home, Humor, Indiana, kids, life, me, Middle Tennessee, miscellaneous, my life, Nashville Tennessee, other, Tennessee. Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.