Cicadas..Let the Hell begin.

You know what 2011 means in Tennessee?  It means the 13 year cicadas make their appearance.  Great huh?  These little critters have been dormant in the ground for 13 freaking years and now they are bored and  horny.  They have started to arrive in my backyard.  First 2 days ago with a shell here or there on my fence, this morning even more.

Welcome to my hell…and it’s just the beginning.

This is just one post of my fence.  Yep it’s just the beginning.

Here is a quote from a local news site:

Brood XIX is expected to emerge from the ground in May “and they will come out by the millions,” according to Dr. Hale.

He added, “Brood XIX is the biggest brood that we have in Middle Tennessee.  It is encompassing most of Middle Tennessee, even some counties in east Tennessee and probably a few west of here.”

That’s just freaking peachy.  Millions..yes millions per acre.  They are the loudest insect, so when you factor in thousands of these little shits in your backyard it can be deafening.  I am stocking up on ear plugs.

My dog is having a blast right now with the cicadas coming up out of the ground.  Friday night he started walking funny in the grass and we had no idea what he was doing.  Picture a Tennessee Walking Horse

Then he hops around like a damn antelope for awhile.

And then finishes up with a polar bear pounce at the ground trying to get the cicadas.  It’s quite entertaining actually and I need to video tape it next time I catch him doing it.

Not so entertaining is my daughter in regards to bugs in general. Little bugs, big bugs, medium bugs, spiders, May Flies, you name it she ain’t having it.  If my daughter makes it through the cicada invasion with out having a heart attack it will be amazing.  I have a feeling when they are out full swing in all their thousands she will never come out of the house.  It should be great times.  I picked one up the other day to show it to her (and I wanted to see her reaction because I’m cruel like that) she freaked out and said screamed “Don’t you come near me with that thing!”.  I chuckled and came closer of course and by that time she was running away back into the house.  She didn’t like me too much that day.   😛

I can remember when my sister and I were little in Indiana and the 17 year cicadas came out.  They were everywhere, you couldn’t see the bark on the trees because there were so many.  We had a blast.  We found out that if you pull off their front legs their heads pop off.  Game on!  There were so many headless cicadas laying around it was ridiculous but yet hours of entertainment.  Yes we were weird children!

So for the next 6 weeks we will become deaf, we will listen to the cicadas make their “I’m horny as shit” call or in other words their version of Bell Biv Devoes “Do Me” and most likely witness some cicada porn.  I will teach, at least my son, to behead cicadas, because I am an awesome mom like that.  My daughter will most likely be in the house shaking in a corner somewhere thinking the cicadas are here to kill her.  My dog will most likely be puking somewhere because he has ate so many of them and will have the worst gas in the world. (word on the street is that dogs love to eat the larva casings and it gives them the awful gas).  You can find me shooting straight Jack Daniels from the bottle in the kitchen.

About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on May 10, 2011, in life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. O-M-G! How much do I HATE those varmits! They are nasty, ugly, gross, noisy, ugly, creepy, eeby jeeby menacing, ugly (did I mention that already?) bugs.

    I remember when I was about 34 the 17 year ones came out and I just freaked every time I saw one in a tree or the casing on the ground. One more year and they’ll be haunting the area once again.

    Isn’t there anything they can do about it? They controlled the gypsy moths, why can’t they (our wonderful Dept. of Agriculture) control these insidious creatures!

  2. We get something like this too. I few years ago it was so bad every inch of an entire block of the strip was littered with dead bugs. As far as the noise I wish you luck. We lived in an area that was infested with Locus. It’s near impossible to block out that noise. I don’t miss it

  3. I hate cicadas! One flew up my shirt when I was little, and they’ve scared me ever since. I’ll have to look up and see when they’ll be back in MD.

  4. Look on the bright side. It’s free dinner!

  5. I would like to take a moment to draw a parallel between statements such as, “bored and horny” “come out by the millions” and “begins in May,” “makes a lot of noise” I would like to note that this can be said of many men around this time of year. And much like the dog, if you feed them too much of something they tend to get all gasy too.

  6. Well its time to go to Home Depot and buy a blow torch… how fun would that be??
    My girls are deathly scared of all bugs… they would not be able to handle this.
    Bugs dont bother me either… I used to torment all bugs as a child. Its a wonder I didn’t turn out to be killer!! Yay me! I broke the cycle!

  7. What the HELL are those things? Noisy and horny? And their heads pop off? Do they pop off when they’re doing their prey too? Oops. Did I say that out loud? This all sounds very appealing, but this is one instance when I am positively thrilled to live in Canada, where we do not know the meaning of ‘cicada!’ Can’t you spray them with shit or something and kill them all off at the same time? Then you’d need a big-ass suction contraption to take them all away. Let me think on that for you. I’ll come up with a solution by the end of the week :-p

  8. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Yucky pooooooooooo

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