Why the Chicken Crossed the Road.

Rooster

Image via Wikipedia

Holy mother of the Rapture, my week is so long and so boring!  Nothing exciting is happening, well until Saturday when I start begging for death, I might start begging now due to boredom.  OMG!  Has my shunning already started?  Death by boredom is my punishment!  CRAP!  I think I will go shopping to spice things up.  I’m sticking my tongue out at the rapture, You will not Bore me!  I will find something exciting to do!

True Story:

I was driving to my Dad’s yesterday and I almost hit a Rooster crossing the road.  I am not kidding, I am not making this up.  He was just strutting his chicken shit across the road when I came around the corner.  I slowed down with him right in front of my car and all I could see was his wings going nuts.  I bet his thought was “DAMN IT why am I a Rooster and why can’t I FLY!”  So I stopped and put the car in park and got out.  I walked around the front of the car and he was having an anxiety attack.  I asked him why he was crossing the road and he said….wait for it….it’s the answer you all have been wondering…..

To get to his family to warn them they will all die because the Rapture is going to happen on Saturday!

I kid you not people.  He went on to tell me that he just found out that Jesus will not save the Roosters and chickens because Jesus says they are too loud, he likes to sleep in the morning and not be woken up by a stupid rooster at the crack of dawn.  Well, I can’t blame him there.  He also said that Jesus won’t take smelly animals.  Shit, I’m going to be stuck here with a bunch of smelly animals for the next 5 months.  If Jesus isn’t taking smelling animals I bet he isn’t taking any smelly people either.  Crap the luck!  I am totally stocking up on deodorant to hand out and febreeze to spray people that refuse the deodorant.

After holding his wing and making sure he made it across the road I wished him well and reassured him he will not be alone.  I will be there too and that I am throwing a huge party come Saturday and that all the roosters and chickens are invited.  Party on my chickens.

See I really have nothing more exciting to talk about than almost hitting a freaking rooster.

About Jamie

Taking my time through this A-Mazing thing called my life. I'm the owner and photographer at The Adore Girls here in Nashville TN. Life is what you make of it and I am making mine...AMAZING!

Posted on May 19, 2011, in life and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Chickens are stupid.
    So are toads.
    Michelobs are chillin’.
    Can you tell I’m bored too?

  2. a ha ha ha ha you do crack me up!!
    I am cool with jesus leaving animals here especially chickens.
    At least I know KFC will still be operating through this Rapture!
    I love saying the word… Rapture!!
    It sounds bad ass!!

  3. ( ” )>
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  4. I say we all run around like a bunch of idiots screaming in misery to show these morons how ridiculous they’ve been. Then we can all get drunk with the chickens while pointing and laughing at these freaktards. If the freashish get out of hand, we can send in the chickens to peck their eyes.

    Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he was sick of seeing all the fucking billboards about the Rapture and was in search of some educated people!

    I love you girl LMAO!

  5. In my town we have to stop for deer, sometimes a cow or two, turtles, and yes, one time, a chicken. It even used the crosswalk. 🙂

    I pulled over for the turtle and put him where I guessed he might be safe. I hope he keeps his ass off the road.

    Q. So why did the chicken go half-way across the road?

    A. She wanted to lay it on the line!

    /got nothing

  6. First off, I LOVE roosters! Secondly. Genius posting. Kudos my lady, kudos.

  7. Who doesn’t love a good…wait for it….cock story. *thank you and goodnight! walks off stage*

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